“Not as such,” she says with a chuckle. Her cheeks redden a bit and oh wow do I ever want to kiss her. “They went with unstoppable, united, uplifting.”
“Yours is better.”
There’s another knock on the door, and Rainy pops her head in. “Are you ready?”
Well, that’s the question of the day, isn’t it?
* * *
Okay, I made it through the introduction, and I’ve gotten the lay of the land here. And it’s not good—Arabella and I will be sitting on stage on that stupid red loveseat from the game show while the finale plays. Oh,andthere will be cameras on us the entire time, filming our reactions, so that’s great, isn’t it?
I kind of wish I had taken acting classes when Dwight suggested it because I don’t know how I’m going to get through this, especially considering that there is a serious lack of boozy smoothies here.
Urgh. I’m sitting so close to her I can smell her perfume and feel the warmth of her arm next to mine, but I can’t reach out and cover her soft hand with mine. I can’t lean in and give her a gentle kiss on her temple or lean back and put my arm around her shoulders. Instead, I have to sit here with this stupid smile frozen on my face for the next hour and a half while I watch myself fall in love with the woman next to me who suddenly stopped loving me.
The theme song starts up, and the audience breaks into wild applause. I should be enjoying this moment. My career is finally taking off. But every second of this evening will be fake nails on a chalkboard.
* * *
Footage of her passed out in front of the tent, looking half dead, starts up. I hear myself pleading,“Do not die, Arabella! You can’t die.”And everything comes back to me—the knowledge that I am absolutely in love with her and the terror of losing her were all there in that moment.
“Wake up, okay?” I beg, my voice breaking. “Come on, Arabella! Wake up!” I shout.
Her eyes flutter and she whispers, “Don’t be mad.”
“Never. I could never be angry with you.”
She gives me a weak smile, even though her eyes are still closed. “Thank you. I love you, Will. I did it for you.”
“Did what, Belle? What did you do?”
Then a shot of the satellite phone smashed with a rock on top of it and my voice again. “No, no, no, no, no. Tell me you didn’t.”
“We can make it. I just need a bit more time.” Her head lolls to the side and she passes out again.
The audience gasps, even though clearly she’s fine because she’s sitting right in front of them, and I’m forced to relive one of the scariest moments of my life—the fear of losing her. It’s sort of ironic because she’s not dead but I lost her anyway. I’m not even pretending to smile anymore. Fuck it. This is too hard. The camera man moves in for a closer shot, and I have the urge to swat him away, but I do nothing. I just sit here with one hand on each knee wishing this was already over.
* * *
Oh crap. We’ve just watched the big fight on the raft after Arabella ate the berries. I definitely come off sounding like a real arsehole in that one, but honestly, after spending an entire night trying to keep her alive while navigating our way down the river in the dark? I had a right to be angry.
Blech. Now we’re at the river’s edge in Wasapi, the town where I was going to take her to the hospital and call it quits. I’m telling her there’s no way we can make it to the finish line, not with her in her weak condition.
She lifts her chin at me. “You’re such a coward.”
I bark out a nasty laugh. “I’m a coward?”
“Yes. Sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but you are. You think you’re so BEEPing brave out here doing manly things in the wild, but the truth is, you’re just hiding from any real type of life and responsibility. You have set it up so you have the perfect excuse for never getting attached to anybody. You’re a crap brother, you’re a crap uncle, and you’d be a crap boyfriend.”
Her words hit me hard as the reality of how I’ve spent the last few weeks of my life sets in. Maybe I have been running.
“Fine. You quit. Do what you want, but I’m not giving up.” She stands, looking strong now as she steps off the raft.
The studio audience cheers, and I feel like a total schmuck.
Arabella holds her hand out to me and says. “Give me the BEEPing map. I’m going to go take a piss, then get back across this river and through that jungle to the finish line. If you want to go into town and cry in your beer, you be my guest. I don’t give a BEEP what you do. But I’m going to prove that I can finish what I started.”
“You cannot do this alone.”
