“Will, make yourself at home, please,” Tessa says. “I’m sorry to be so rude. Normally, I’d offer you a drink, but if I get off this stupid bike before the ride ends, my trainer/manny is going to call me and nag the shit out of me.” She pants. “He really is insufferable sometimes.”
“It’s fine. I’ll get him something,” Arabella says. She turns to me. “Beer, okay?”
“That would be great.” Although, I could use something stronger.
Thankfully, Dexter abandons his search of my nether regions in favour of having a noisy drink of water from a huge porcelain bowl on the floor next to the window. I join Arabella at the bar and wait as she takes two beers out of the fridge, handing one to me. She gestures toward the couch, and when I turn to head in that direction, I’m met by Dexter’s snout again, only this time it’s freezing cold and soaked as he crams it against my crotch. “Oh, Jesus!” I mutter, shrinking back from him only to spill beer on my four-hundred-dollar shirt. “Bugger.”
“Dexter, no!” Tessa shouts from her perch. He backs up, seemingly shocked into submission by her tone, but it’s too late. I already look like I pissed myself. Lovely.
Arabella hurries behind the bar to grab a towel while the Princess Dowager glances at my pants while she holds up a crystal glass. “Welcome to the family.”
“Thanks,” I say, trying to sound agreeable whilst trying to blot my crotch as discreetly as possible.
She tips back her gin and downs it in one go, then sets the glass down and looks past me. “Are they asleep?”
I turn to see who she’s talking to. It’s Prince Arthur, dressed in sweats and a white T-shirt. Great. So she reallydidmean casual. I tug at the collar on my shirt, wishing I hadn’t said full starch.
Arthur rubs his eyes. “Yes, they’ve been asleep for a while. I nodded off in there. It’s just so dark and soothing.” He gives me a once-over, eying my wet shirt and pants. Raising one brow, his expression says, ‘disaster’ as he extends his right hand. “You must be Will.”
One firm pump and he’s done. “Nice to meet you. I enjoyed your show before you started shagging my little sister.”
What do you say to that? My face falls, and I stare after him while he passes by me and goes straight for the bar.
“Arthur! That was terribly rude,” Arabella says.
“Honesty’s the best policy,” he answers, getting himself a beer. He gestures to me with his bottle. “Speaking of which, it seems you’ve soiled your pants. And your shirt, inexplicably.”
Wow. This is just… exactly how I hoped the evening would play out. At least it can’t get worse, right?
“You know bloody well Dexter did that,” Arabella snaps.
Arthur wrinkles up his nose. “Do I?”
Smug bastard.
“Of course you do,” Tessa says. “Now, Will, being the extremely thoughtful person he is, has brought gifts for the kids.” She points to the boxes, her legs pumping away on the bike.
Arthur looks at them, then says, “Excellent. They love their Bounce and Spin Puppy, so now we’ll have one if theirs breaks.”
Shit. Of course they have it already. “I can exchange them,” I say, feeling my skin heat up even more.
“Arthur!” Tessa whisper-yells. Then she mouths, “That’s enough,” to him.
I’m about to say it’s fine and I’m happy to take it back when there’s a knock on the door. King Winston strides in, dressed in grey slacks and a sweatshirt with a Valcourt United football team logo covering his round stomach. The ensemble looks very out of place on someone who carries himself with such a dignified air.
“Nice shirt, Dad,” Arthur says. “Scotch?”
“God, yes. I feel positively ridiculous in this getup.” He turns to Arabella, clearly not noticing me yet. “Is this casual enough to make your young man feel welcome?”
She points to me. “Why don’t you ask him?”
“Oh, my apologies,” he says with a little bow of his head. “William. Pleasure to meet you.”
He gives me the same intimidating once-over his son gave me, only he has the decency to say, “Dexter got you, hey?”
A wave of relief comes over me. If there’s one person in the room I want to win over, it’s him. We shake hands, then he turns to his daughter. “He’snot dressed like a complete wanker.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Arthur mutters, before walking over to a fish bowl on the cabinet that contains a single Betta fish. He picks up the food container but before he can open it, Tessa barks, “Nope! You do not get to feed the fish.”
