“I figured we could get reacquainted on that couch over there.”
A knock at the door has us both quickly jumping back as we call “Come in!” to whoever it is.
As it turns out, Dylan Sinclair, evil showrunner/PR witch/Red Bull addict is the one doing the knocking. She rushes across the room with an open-mouthed smile. “Princess Arabella!” she calls in her sing-songy way. “Gorgeousas always. Love your dress.Loveit. Sophisticated yet simple. Flattering yet modest. Professional yet friendly. You must have gotten my e-mail with suggestions because this is spot-on.”
I’m in a light moss sheath dress with three-quarter-length bell sleeves, my usual boring beige pumps, and delicate pearl drop earrings to finish the look. I nod and smile, surprised that she doesn’t seem to be holding a grudge about the whole me-using-her-face-to-push-her-to-the-ground thing. Huh. Remarkable, really. I’d still be super pissed. “How are you, Dylan?”
“Never better,” she says, pulling a can of Red Bull out of her suit jacket pocket. She cracks it open. “This is going to be the single greatest week of all of our lives.The. Greatest!”
Will puts his arm around my shoulder while she tips back the can. “We’re really excited to see the final product.”
“It’s incredible, if I do say so myself,” she says. “It very well may be the most spectacular television show ever made, so I suppose one could say I nailed it first try.”
“I’m sure you did,” I answer, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. “I want to apologize again about shoving—”
Dylan holds up one hand. “Nope. Don’t even. That little move was the cherry on the top of the ‘transformation of a princess to a kickass warrior’ sundae.”
“But still, it was most unbecoming of me and beyond rude.”
“Which makes for superb ratings,” she answers, looking at her watch. “Okay, I have to run next door and make sure we’re all set up for you. You are going to absolutely die when you find out what the format is of tonight’s show. It’s going to be wildly fun. ThinkThe Newlywed GamemeetsFear FactormeetsEntertainment Tonight. You’ll be answering questions while you complete challenges.”
“Wow, that is… not what I was expecting,” I say.
“Right?Sometimes I scare myself with my big ideas. I was out running a couple of weeks ago while I was brainstorming interview questions, and it popped into my head—‘Dylan, a plain old interview has been done to death. You need to make it harder, better, faster, stronger.’”
Will nods, keeping a poker face. “Were you listening to Kanye West at the time?”
“How did you know?” Dylan asks. She turns to me. “Scary that he knew that. Okay, so rules for today—try everything. Just really go for it, no matter what we throw at you. The more into this you are, the more excitement we can generate for the show.” She tips back her can and takes a few gulps. “And guess who the host is?”
She’s going to say it’s her, isn’t she?
“Me!” she announces.
“I was racking my brain for the right host—someone exciting with that certainje ne sais quoiwho we could quickly bring up to speed on what we’re trying to achieve here, and I thought, ‘Dylan! You’re all those things!’ Plus, I’m semi-famous as that woman Princess Arabella shoved into the mud, so it adds that whole ‘is she going to be nasty to the princess’ tension!” Dylan grins at me. “Spoiler alert—she’s not. Seriously, we’re fine.”
“Brilliant,” I say, even though I cannot imagine that any of that is true.
“Oh, and speaking of spoilers—we don’t want any! Not one. The world has already figured out you’re a couple, so we can’t go ‘will they or won’t they.’ No biggie because we pivot and highlight the mystery of how this happened. That is what will have butts in chairs every Thursday night for the next five weeks.”
“Well, that and our ability to survive in the Congo whilst making our way to civilization under the most dire of circumstances,” Will says, sounding slightly put out.
“That too,” Dylan agrees before sucking back the rest of her drink. “Okay, I better go make sure the lighting is going to flatter me. It gets harder to light women over a certain age. Remember you’re thrilled about the show, your relationship, and your future together. Give specific yet vague answers. Be friendly and open yet maintain an air of mystery.”
“Sure, no problem,” Will says as Dylan hurries out the door.
Once the door is closed, I look up at him, “Be honest yet deceitful.”
He grins down at me. “Distant yet close.”
“Stymied but also victorious,” I add.
“Exactly.”
* * *
“Welcome toPrincess in the Wild - The Pre-show!” Dylan shouts into the camera. “I’m your host, Dylan Sinclair, and tonight we begin the epic, sexy adventure that isPrincess in the Wild! In just a moment, I’ll welcome Princess Arabella herself and wild man Will Banks to our stage where they will be subjected to various tests of faith, disgusting challenges, and daring feats. But that’s not all, folks, because we are going to have a little fun with the new couple as well in our segment called, ‘How Well Do You Know Each Other?’
“Princess in the Wildwhich debuts this Thursday at 8 p.m. here on ABN, is already being touted as the most adventurous, sexiest series on the telly.”
