“Oh, I hope we’ll come across her! She’slovely.”
“Princess Arabella is lovely, too!” Tall Thin Lady, who is quickly becoming my favourite, says. “She looks exactly like her mum.”
Oh. Great.
“Queen Cecily,” Blue Hair says, clutching her saggy bosom. “I do miss her so. Such grace.” Turning to me she adds, “You would have loved her.”
Well, since she was my mother, I suppose that makes sense. “Yes, I’m sure I would have.”
“I wishshewere giving our tour.”
“As do I,” I say, nodding serenely.
“Oh! What about that buff manny for the twins! Maybe he could show us around?”
So, in other words, they’d prefer anyonebutme.
“What’s his name again?”
“Arnold.”
“No, it’s not Arnold. It starts with a Y, doesn’t it?”
“Xavier,” I say.
“No, that’s not it,” Blue Hair says. “It’s something very manly, like Jack.”
“His name is Xavier,” I say. “Trust me, I know him personally.”
“Howpersonally?” Tall Thin Lady asks, raising and lowering her eyebrows.
I feel my face heating up and I shake my head quickly. “Notthatpersonally! Shall we get started?”
“I think she’s lying. Look how pink her face has gotten at the mention of him!”
“I’m not…”
“Now, don’t be ashamed! He’s irresistible. All that muscleandhe loves children. A girl could do a lot worse.”
“Yes, but we’re not—”
“Why ever not? Don’t tell me he’s not good enough for you!”
Holding up one hand, I say, “No, I never said—”
“At your age, love, you should really find a man already.”
Atmyage? Is she kidding me?“I’m only twenty-nine. Anyway, should we get—”
“Twenty-nine? And you’re still single?! Ridiculous. By the time I was your age, I had already had four children,” Tight White Curls says.
“Ask her how many of them come to visit her,” Tall Thin Lady whispers to me.
Blue hair pipes up with, “Oh, yes, you’re getting a bit old to stay on the shelf, Your Highness.”
“It’s true. Don’t put it off. Finding a man after you turn thirty is an absolute nightmare,” Tight White Curls says. “My granddaughter—lovely thing, butfartoo picky. She had all these crazy notions about getting her Ph.D. first. Well, now she’s a forty-two-year-old Doctor of Music, whatever that means. She’s fat as a house and lives alone with her six cats.”
“Her sex cats?” the man shouts.
