“Brilliant. Can’t wait,” I say, with a big smile, even though on the inside, that thought makes me anything but happy.
18
A Fork in the River
Will
It’sour second day on the river, and I’m having far too much fun, which is why I need to get the hell out of this junglenow. If I don't, the consequences will be dire, because for the first time in my life, I think I might be allowing a woman to worm her way into my heart like a skin-penetrating nematode. And it's not just her looks—although she definitely has the most beautiful eyes I've ever gazed into. Gazed into.Stupid Will, so very stupid. I've never gazed into anyone's eyes before, and the fact that I'm admitting to it inthissituation proves that if I don’t get us out of here as fast as humanly possible, I’m totally screwed.
I want to hate her. I really do. Or, at the very least, I want a healthy disdain for her that will save me. But the more I get to know her, the more I getallthe feels. She's funny and quick-witted and smart, and she has the loveliest voice I’ve ever heard. I could listen to her talk all day long. Or laugh. She has a great laugh, too. It’s like this full, feminine sound that is not only contagious, it’s addictive. And to be honest, it’s so much more fun to be out here with her than I ever would have imagined. She’s so enthusiastic about everything she sees, and even though she has a weak stomach, and isn’t into eating grubs or larvae, she’s up for almost everything else I’ve asked her to try. For a graceful, gorgeous, pampered princess, she’s extremely adventurous. And it’s the adventurousness that scares me because it makes me wonder if that trait might possibly carry over into the bedroom. Because if it did,wow. I’d be done in.
So, for all of those reasons, plus the whole money thing, I absolutely, positivelymustget us the hell out of this jungle as fast as possible so we can go our separate ways and I can forget all about her. I've done the math, and no matter which way I flip the equations, a relationship between someone like me and someone like her has exactly zero percent chance of working out. Not that I want it to, because I don’t. But, if I did and she did, it could never happen. I wouldn’t last two days in her boring, stuffy, conservative world without wanting to slit my throat, and it's not like she's going to give up her life and her family for me—nor would I want her to because that kind of sacrifice never works out. No, this is a total dead end, and if there’s anything all my travels have taught me, it’s that dead ends are a waste of time and effort.
Although she does seem incredibly happy out here. I thought she’d be missing home, but she hasn’t mentioned it once. Not thatthatmeans anything because, as fun as this is for her for a few days, it won't be long before she’ll need to go back to everything she knows—the security, the luxury, the ability to eat something other than charred yams and river fish.
Have I considered seeing if she’s up for a secret fling? Yes. Yes, I have. But Arabella’s not the kind of girl who ‘flings.’ She’s the kind of girl who falls in love for keeps. She has these bursts of courage and strength that seem to take her by surprise, but at the end of the day, she’s an extremely vulnerable person. And it's for that very reason I refuse to take advantage of her, not while I know how this ends. There is no future for us. We’re just two strangers who are spending a very intimate time together under highly unusual circumstances. It's bound to make you feel things that aren't real and think things that aren't true.
And for all those logical reasons, I’m doing my level best to make as many miles as possible each day. With any luck, I’ll only have to resist her for three more nights, then it’ll be goodbye Princess and helloMatilda.
Last night, when we stopped, I decided we should build a primitive rudder to make steering easier. Arabella thought we should cover the raft with a soft bed of banana leaves and made chairbacks out of bamboo poles wrapped in more leaves. To be honest, I’m kind of excited to try it out, which is what we’re going to do in just a few minutes. We've eaten and cleaned up our camp. Now it’s time to set off for the day.
“Last chance to use the loo,” I say as Arabella sets her pack on the raft.
“I'm good, thank you,” she says, her voice growing a little more formal as it does whenever the topic of a bodily function comes up.
“All right, let's test out our top-of-the-line raft.” I hold out my hand and help her get on, only to find I don’t want to let go when she's seated.
Okay, Will, keep it professional here.
I push away from the shore and hop on, then try the rudder. It does what I hoped it would—and soon we find ourselves in the center of the muddy river. I stretch out my legs and lean back, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face.
“This is so much better than hiking,” Arabella says. “It’s like being on a holiday.”
I glance over at her and see her eyes are closed, and she looks incredibly relaxed, which I imagine is an unusual state for her. We float along in a comfortable silence for a while, and I listen to the calls of the birds and the odd howl of a monkey in the trees.
“Are you missing home yet?” I ask.
“Certain things, of course. My Gran, and my niece and nephew, mainly. And my sister-in-law, Tessa. She’s wonderful. Oh, and my brother. He’s all right as far as overprotective big brothers go.” She pauses for a moment. “I suppose I miss scones, and raspberry-filled crêpes drizzled in chocolate sauce. Oh, well, obviously I miss my shower and real shampoo, too. And sleeping in a bed. I guess that’s something I've always taken for granted, but I don't think I will again.” She opens her eyes and looks over at me.
“So the answer is yes, then,” I say with a chuckle.
“I suppose, a little. But all of that will be waiting for me when I get back, so I’m not going to waste a second wishing I was home.”
“Except for the scones.”
“Yes, I would wrestle a gorilla for a warm blueberry scone and some heavy cream right about now.”
“Or a guerilla?” I ask with a grin.
She lets out a laugh. “One of those, too. You wouldn’t happen to know how to turn some tree bark and leaves into pastry, would you?”
“Afraid not.” Bugger. She’s being all adorable again. I wish she’d stop that already.
Arabella sits up a bit. “What do you miss when you're out being wild and free?”
“My family. I've been traveling so much over the past few years that sometimes I think I’m skipping their entire lives,” I say, then immediately regret it because sharing deep feelings is the last thing you should do when you want to keep your distance from someone.
“Your family seems wonderful.”
