I grip the bar so hard, the skin of my palms is being pinched, but I don’t dare let go now that I’m here. The wind whips me and the sound of the blades so close to my head makes me feel dizzy and disoriented. I’m now too scared to step back and too scared to let go so I can reach for my seat. I close my eyes, forcing the tears of fear back inside, my breath shaky.
“Will’s already disconnected. You’ve got to go, Your Highness!” Idriss says. “I can’t hover so close to these trees much longer.”
Right. I need to hurry. But I don’t want to hurry because I’m not in any rush to die! Was my life really so bad? Being served every meal and helping charities every day? It wasn’t. I don’t need to do this. I can’t.
“You've got this, Your Highness!” Dylan shouts. “For all women everywhere!”
Yes. Equal Everywhere. I have to do this.
I reach behind me with my right foot, tapping with my toes until I feel the skid.
“It's easier if you do this with your eyes open,” Mac shouts at me.
“No, thank you. I'm good like this,” I yell back, forcing my foot to land firmly on the skid.Okay, that's one. Now do the other one. Just do it. For all women everywhere.
“I want to see you be brave,” Dylan screams.
“Yes, I brave,” I say. I don’t think that made sense. I can’t let that be my last words.
“You need to make a decision, Your Highness,” Idriss calls.
“All right!” I snap. “I’m going.”
My hands are starting to cramp up, but I force my left foot down, then without thinking, I take a deep breath and shift my weight behind me, letting my feet slide off the skid.
And now I’m slowly being lowered to the ground.
And swearing like a sailor the entire way down.
I guess, “Shiiittttttttt-fuckballs-son-of-a-bitch-ffffffffuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkkk!” will be my last words.
Good thing it’s all going to be captured on film for prosperity.
12
Don’t Lick the Yellow Ones
Will
Well,bugger, she is actually doing it. I stand, my eyes fixed on her as she drops toward me. I’m seriously torn between being incredibly impressed, super irritated, and wanting to bust out laughing because of the string of fucks and shit fucks and mother fucking fuckers pouring out of her mouth.
I remove my harness, then let go so it can be pulled back up to the helicopter, all the while keeping my eyes on her as she descends.
“FUUUCCKKKKKKKKKKKING HELLL!” she shouts, clearly not realizing she’s almost on the ground.
I reach up and grab her by the waist, then gently lower her. “Welcome to the jungle. I'm going to unhook you now.”
She nods slightly, her chest heaving, her face pink. If she weren’t so annoying, I’d say she’s cute right now.
“I did it,” she whispers. “I didn’t die.”
She lifts her arms so I can unhook her, and I get started, trying not to think about the lovely figure under her baggy clothes.
“I did it,” she says again, this time louder and with a shocked expression.
“You sure did.” Crouching, I tug the harness down to her feet.
She steps out of it and I hold it up for Mac, who gives me a salute, then starts pulling up the rope.
