“Your Highness, hello! I was just about to call you. Everything is on schedule for us to leave Thursday morning,” she says, speaking so fast I can barely process her words. “I was absolutely thrilled to discover you were going to be our co-host. Beyond thrilled actually. I literally jumped for joy and spilled my energy drink all over myself.” She laughs, then quickly continues. “This is going to be epic. No, bigger than epic. I don’t even have a word for it.”
“Yes, here’s the thing—”
“—You were always one of my favourite royals when I worked for your family. You’re just so lovely—you’re like if Grace Kelly and your mother had a child.”
“Thank you.” I think. “But—”
“You are the perfect foil for Will. Elegant and refined princess meets wild, ruggedly handsome outdoorsman. It’ll be the greatest ‘will they or won’t they’ of all time!”
“About that. As it turns out, they won’t be.”
She laughs. “Yes! Perfect. The more you try to resist, the more the delicious sexual tension is going to build!”
“That’s not what I meant. I meant I won’t be able to co-host the show after all. I’m extremely sorry, but after some thought, I realize I’ll never be given permission to do—”
“Donotfinish that sentence. No need. Who’s the fly in the ointment, Your Highness? It’s that Phillip Crawford, your father’s senior advisor, isn’t it? He’s such a stick in the mud. Let me talk to the king. Winston loves me. I can get him to say yes to anything.”
I don’t even want to know what that means. “It’s…well…I’m afraid it’s not going to happen, and you won’t be able to convince him. Again, I apologize for wasting your time.”
“You haven’t wasted my time,” she says in an airy voice.
“I haven’t?”
“No, my dear, of course not. Because you’redoingthe show and it’ll turn out beautifully.”
“It will?”
“Yes, of course. Much better than if you try to back out, and your family’s sued for millions of dollars, and your People for Animals foundation loses out on all that sweet network cash.”
Bollocks.
“I know they’ll be reluctant to let you go, but there’s aneasyway around it. Instead of asking for permission, you just go, then later, when you’ve made all that money for your charity, proved yourself to be a fierce and amazing nature-lover, and made your family proud, they’ll forgive all.”
“I don’t think they’ll see it like that.”
“Of course they will! Think of how you’ll raise your family’s profile! They’ll be thrilled. Absolutely thrilled. This will bethe best thingto happen to the Langdons since the birth of those adorable babies,” she says. “So much betterthan being sued. Your family has been scandal-free for nearly two years, and I know you do not want to be the one to break that streak. Especially since the last time you made headlines it was for kicking a one-legged man off a bar and causing him massive injuries.”
“I’m not actually the one who—”
“Doesn’t matter. What matters is that people remember you were involved and that you nearly caused a trade war between Spain and Avonia. Don’t be the royal nightmare. It’ll do irreparable harm to your family.”
My entire body feels heavy with despair. “I would never want to hurt my family.”
“Exactly. And as muchdoingthe show will create quite a stir, it’ll be infinitely better than backing out and hurting the good people of the Avonian Broadcast Network, which, incidentally, is the largest news and entertainment company in the kingdom.”
“Right.”
“Right. So, all you have to do is find a way to sneak out and get to the airport where a private jet will be waiting. Easy peasy lemon squeezy!”
* * *
I’m now in my apartment. It's late on Wednesday night, and I've been writing notes to my family and staff to say goodbye, just in case I don't make it back. The hardest letters were for the babies. It would absolutely gut me if I didn’t get to watch them grow up. Although if I’m dead, I suppose I won’t know I’m missing out. Not that I want to die.
Why did I do this?! Stupid, Arabella. Stupid. If I get out of this alive, I promise to never have another sip of champagne ever again. In fact, no more weddings either. And no baths. And…and…no talking to Gran. And no shameless flirting with adventurous men.
Oh God, I’m going to die out there in the wilderness, aren’t I?
I spent a few hours looking up the most dangerous places on the planet, and it turns out, there’s danger everywhere.Everywhere.Even the crime rate in the mountains of Tibet where those Buddhist monks live is up. Petty theft. Can you imagine? What would they even steal? One of those bells they use to end a meditation session? I doubt they’re worth much. Certainly not enough to hike up a bloody mountain and snatch one, then run back down.
