2) You will then meet your co-host—on film.
3) We reveal the new rules of the show.
4) The two of you hop into a waiting helicopter that will drop you into the wilderness fitted with GoPros.
5) You two work together to find your way back to civilization using only the tools and equipment provided.
Since I've also managed to get an incredible advertising deal from GoPro, this show is making money and we haven't even started yet. See? Thrilling, right?
Also, the new format sidesteps that little issue of me having no directing experience. As I got farther along in the Ron Howard Master Class, I realized there may be more to the whole thing than I thought. There will be extensive post-production work in editing, etc., but not to worry because there is literally no way this plan can fail. We’ll only need Tosh and Mac at the first location, then they’ll wait in town to film you when you arrive. It’ll just be Will, our gorgeously fabulous celebrity, and your wits.
Let the games begin!
Dylan
P.S. A car will pick you up next Friday at six a.m. sharp to take you to the airport. Make sure you don't shave.
* * *
Text from me to Dwight:Please call me immediately regarding Dylan's ridiculous plan.
Dwight:In an important client meeting at the moment. The answers to your questions are as follows: 1) No, you can't, 2) Yes, you must, 3) There is no such clause, and, 4) Don't even think about it if you want to have a career beyond today.
* * *
Email to Dylan Sinclair, cc. Dwight Anderson, Victor Petty, Kira Taylor, Toshiro Fukuhara, Callum MacKenzie
From: Will Banks
Subject Line: RE: INCREDIBLE NEWS - TOP SECRET!!!
Dylan,
Thanks for your enthusiasm about this project. However, I do have a few major concerns.
1) For obvious safety reasons, I require an in-depth knowledge of where we’re going, including which plants are edible vs. poisonous, what types of dangerous animals we’ll be facing, etc.
2) I cannot in good conscience take an inexperienced person out into the wilderness unprepared. That would put both our lives at risk, and I’m not sure, but I’d guess that one or both of us dying won’t make for great television. Maybe Victor and/or Kira can comment on that.
Regards,
Will
* * *
Email to Will Banks, cc. Dwight Anderson, Victor Petty, Kira Taylor, Toshiro Fukuhara, Callum MacKenzie
From: Dylan Sinclair
Subject Line: RE: RE: INCREDIBLE NEWS - TOP SECRET!!!
Will,
You are SO right. Death does not make for good reality television. It would totally ‘kill’ the sex vibe we’re going for. Also, we’d NEVER put your lives at risk! Trust me when I say any and all safety precautions have been taken. We’ll be using a location you’re personally familiar with, so not to worry.
You’ll be given all the supplies needed to survive in this environment. Even though your co-host doesn’t have a great deal of experience in the wilderness, she’s had years of managing difficult situations. Trust me, nothing can possibly go wrong.
Ciao,
