“Do you like it there?”
She shrugs. “Sort of. I like having a yard and a bigger room and stuff. But my dad’s happier on the boat, so it’s better.”
I don’t say anything, but instead, pick up the napkin next to her plate and wipe a little lump of peanut butter off her cheek.
“It makes him sad because we’re not on the water where my mom and baby Malcolm can see us.”
“Oh, I see.”
“They’re sad too. So this year, I’m going to write a note for them to tell them where we’re going so they won’t worry. I think that’ll make my dad feel better.” She takes another bite of her sandwich. “Do you have a bottle I could use?”
“I’m sure I can find something.”
After lunch, Olive gets straight to work on her note. I slip into the bathroom and splash my face with some cold water, trying not to let my sadness show. I must be in there a while because she comes to find me. “Abby, are you in there? I’m all done.”
“Be right out.” I take a deep breath, then another to convince myself that I can do this. When I open the door, she is standing with her coat zipped up, and a rolled-up paper in her hand. “Is your tummy feeling okay? You were in there for a long time.”
My cheeks flush at her pointed question. “I’m fine.”
I find a wine bottle with a screw top that had been rinsed out in preparation for recycling.
“I already told my dad we’re going for a walk, so we can just go.” She carefully slides the note into the bottle and then screws the lid on tight.
The world seems desolate today as we walk along the shore. It’s dark and gray, and as a gust of wind whips my hair into my face, I feel the first hints of winter. Only the seagulls are out fighting against the wind today, searching for supper. There are no sailboats out, no seals, no other people strolling along while their dogs scamper down the beach seeking the perfect piece of driftwood for a game of fetch.
As we head out toward the open sea, the sandy beach gives way to rocky terrain. The water below drops off and soon, you can’t see the spot where the water meets the cliff unless you’re right on the edge. Olive scampers ahead, certain the mermaids come up to sun themselves on those rocks. She saw one there once. Her grandmother tried to tell her it was just a seal’s tail disappearing below the surface, but she knows what she saw.
“This is the spot,” she shouts. Clutching the bottle in one hand, she scrambles along to get closer to the edge of the cliff. It’s steep, and she loses her footing, but then quickly recovers.
“Be careful!” I shout the useless piece of advice, and it disappears into the air behind me. Fear takes over my legs now, and I pick up my pace to a jog, even though I’m sure I’m overreacting. The tide has come in, slamming against the cliff, and my heart slams against my ribcage in response. “Olive, wait for me! It’s not safe!”
But she doesn’t hear me and keeps making her way down, tucking the bottle close to her while she uses her free hand to steady herself. A wave rolls toward her, and I see what happens two seconds before it takes place. The water rises above the rock, crushing down on her while I scream. It pulls her feet out from under her, taking her with it as it disappears under the edge of the cliff.
I scramble down the rocks, too terrified to breathe. My foot slips on the wet rock but I recover and force myself to move with a swiftness I forgot I had. My hair is whipped in front of my eyes just as her head bobs up. I scream her name and leap down to the rock just above her, then lie down and reach out my arms, trying to grab for her as the water rises again. I clutch at her hood, only managing to grasp it with the tips of my fingers. Another icy wave slams down on us, and I lose her. I try to call for her as water fills my lungs.Please don’t die. Please don’t die.
Without thinking, I push myself to a crouch, then launch my body into the next wave, reaching wildly around me as I go under. The air is squeezed out of my lungs and the cold shock on my skin feels like thousands of knives. I try to look around me, but the saltwater stings and my eyes shut automatically.Where the hell are you, Olive?
I bob up above the surface and take a deep breath, just before another wave envelops my body, lifting me and crashing me into the cliff. Pain tears through my back and legs, but when the wave pulls back, she is there. Just under the surface. I manage to get a hold of her hair with one hand, and my fingers grip hard.Don’t let her go. Don’t let her die.
She is spun by the next wave, and I see her eyes through her dark hair, wild with terror. She reaches for me, and as the wave moves us, it brings her tight to my body. My back slams against the rocks again, but the incredible relief of finding her outweighs the pain. I hold onto her with everything in me, using my legs to push us away from the cliff and toward the beach. But the tide is too strong, and it bashes me against the stone again, this time slamming my cheek and the side of my head. My ears pop from the impact and my eyes go dim, but I hold tight to Olive’s little body, tucking her in as close to me as I can.
Our heads surface now, and I gulp the air and try to propel us to the left where it’s safe. Violent sobs from Olive’s chest shake us both as I try to swim toward a sandy break in the cliff. Out of the corner of my eye, I see another wave above us.
“Close your mouth!” We’re taken under again, and I am disoriented by the time we resurface. I spin around, trying to find the shore, but my hair covers my face, choking me and blocking my eyes. The water is so cold it crushes my lungs, making it seem like I’ll never take a full breath again. Olive clings to me, gripping my neck so hard I couldn’t breathe even if there were air available. When we come back up, I try to scream for help, but my voice comes out strangled, and I know it will be lost against the rocks. We’re being dragged to the cliff again, and I’m frozen with fear at what is about to come.
I lift her head above the water and hold her up while I fight the tide, trying to find a way to get us out of this. We are pushed to shore, then sucked down, then out to sea and back up again. I join forces with the rhythm. This time, I don’t waste energy trying to fight the tide, but use it to my advantage, pushing off with one foot against the rocks when the tide starts to pull us out to sea.
I kick with every bit of strength I possess, and my legs cut through the water. My wet jeans and jacket are lead weighing me down, along with Olive’s body. They slow my movements until I’m not sure if I’ve even made an inch of progress. It’s all I can do to hold myself up, to get her head above the water. Somehow, I catch a piece of a wave headed for a sandy break in the rocks. If I can just hold onto her, if I can just keep moving toward the beach until my body gives up, we’ll get there.Keep going. Let the tide take you home.
I spend the last of my strength to get us around the bend, and then let the waves carry us to the sandy shore, while I hold Olive up as best I can. I am unable to keep my head above the water now. There is nothing left in me but the thought of holding onto her.Get her to the shore. Just get her there.
I’m suddenly being pulled toward the beach, and through a sliver of light between my hair, I see hands gripping my jacket. I’m being dragged onto the sand as I clutch Olive with both hands, wild with terror. With each blink, my vision grows more dim. Then everything goes black.
* * *
The sound of shouting wakes me. I open my eyes and see a pair of boots next to me. I turn my head to the side, and water comes out of my lungs in violent sputters. I choke as it comes out of my nose and mouth. My body shakes violently as I try to stay awake long enough to know if Olive will be okay.
I hear Liam’s voice as though it’s through a tunnel, even though he’s right beside me. He’s crying and yelling. “Olive, I’m here.” He shouts at her. “Dad’s here.”
