She whips around to face the crowd, holding her shoulders back, ready to lap up the attention as the world’s cutest flower girl. Spotting Leo, she waves with abandon. “Hi, Leo! You maked it!” Turning back to me, she says, “Mummy! Leo’s here!”
I feel my face go flush again, and I nod quickly, gesturing for her to get going. Taking a deep breath, I start up the aisle, praying I don’t trip and make a fool of myself. When I’m almost at Leo’s pew, I whisper, “What are you doing here?”
He mouths, “I promised.”
I shake my head and chuckle a little, then hear him say, “You’re beautiful, by the way,” as I pass by. And suddenly, I’m pretty sure I could float the rest of the way up this aisle without need of my feet.
***
I stand at the front of the church next to Amber, holding her large bouquet of white roses and lavender hydrangeas, along with my smaller, matching flowers. She and Dane are holding hands and are repeating their vows. I have fallen into an annoying habit of glancing at the very back where Leo is every chance I get, like right now. Yup, he’s still dangerously handsome in that black tuxedo.
He smiles up at me in a way that makes me feel like the only woman in the world, and I start wondering all sorts of very unhelpful things, like what would it feel like to kiss him, and what would it be like to wake up with him next to me every morning, and could he possibly ever love someone like me…
“…For all the days of my life,” Amber says in a very shaky voice.
I glance back at my sister, checking to see if she needs anything, but noticing that she’s got everything she ever wanted right in front of her. He’s holding both of her hands, and his eyes are filled with tears that reassure me he means this every bit as much as she does.
The minister smiles at the happy couple. “Having exchanged symbols of your undying devotion and vowed before God and everyone you know to remain true to each other, you are now bound together in holy matrimony.”
Glancing at Leo again, I tell myself whatever I’m feeling is just from being at a wedding. I remind myself to think of the Bianchis and how miserable they are. That’s real. Looking down at Isabelle, I smile at her little face. She’s real. And how she got here is also real. Leo is not real. He’s just here because he said he’d show up. Which makes him kind of perfect, considering that he still came to support me, even after everything that happened between us. And everything thatdidn’thappen, for that matter.
My eyes divert back to him again without my permission. Frick. I am never going to get over this man, no matter how long I live.
***
The ceremony ends, and I follow Mr. Hammer and Ms. Lewis-Hammer out of the church. I’m reluctantly holding on to Evander’s forearm since I’ve been paired up with him for the processions. He’s talking away about something, but I can barely hear him over the sound of Robbie Williams and Lily Allen singing “Dream a Little Dream” over the speakers. I make the odd mm-hmm sound while I focus in on Leo the entire time.
The late-day sun greets us when we step out of the air-conditioned building, and Evander and I take our place in the receiving line, pose for photos, and greet relatives and old friends for the thirty minutes it takes for the church to empty. Isabelle spots Leo and disappears through the legs of the crowd, and soon she’s jumping into his arms and hugging him with her death grip around his neck. He beams and hugs her back, then finds me across the courtyard and makes eye contact so I’ll know he’s got her.
I’m desperate to get out of this damn line so I can talk to him, but I can’t seem to slip away, because just when I think I’m in the clear, another friend of my mum’s pops up with anice, young manI should meet.
Finally, the crowd thins out, and I make a beeline for Leo, who is now crouched down, teaching Isabelle how to make her thumb disappear. She laughs wildly when he does it, then deftly makes it reappear again. She spots me and says, “Mum! Leo’s teaching me impressive party tricks.”
I laugh. “Well, that’s very nice. Say, I think Auntie Dolores has some of your favourite cookies in her purse. She’s right over there with Grandma.”
Looking up at Leo, she says, “Want one?”
Leo nods, and Isabelle takes off on her mission, leaving us alone. But now, I suddenly feel terrified. I have no idea what to say or why he’s here or what any of this means. Or if it means anything at all, really. I also seem to have forgotten how to stand casually while wearing heels and a fancy dress. I fidget, trying out various arm positions and leg stances while Leo watches.
“Are you all right?” he asks.
“Yes, of course. Wonderful, actually,” I say, then I panic. “But not too wonderful or something. Just the right amount.”Shit. “I thought you went home.”
Shaking his head, he says, “I had better reasons to stay.”
Oh my God! Could he mean me? No, do not get your hopes up.“Cool. That’s…” Insert casual shrug.Do not wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. “Cool. Yeah.”
“I hope you don’t mind me showing up. I should have texted or something, in case you found another date,” he says, seeming a little awkward.
“No, I didn’t find another date,” I say, sounding stupidly desperate.Calm down, Bree! Do not blow your one chance at happiness because you don’t know how to play it cool.
Smiling at me, his eyes flick down to my lips for a second, then back up. “I’m glad.”
“Bree! We gotta go!” Kandi calls from the parking lot where the limo is waiting.
Leo and I both turn to look, and I give her a little annoyed wave. “Okay, I guess I need to go for photos now.”
“Brilliant, yes. See you at the reception, then?”
