“I’m not in need of his yang. I have a vibrator.”
She opens her mouth, but I hold up one hand. “Can we not ruin a perfectly wonderful evening by talking about Leo?”
“It wasn’t perfectly wonderful,” she says, shaking her head. “You would have enjoyed it so much more if he’d been here.”
“That’s not true. I loved every minute—”
“No, you didn’t. But you tried like hell to make it seem like you did, which I appreciate.” She pats me on the cheek, smiling up at me. “Such a nice, stupid, cowardly girl.”
“I am not!”
“Then call him,” she mouths.
“He’s gone forever,” I say firmly.
“But if he weren’t? Like if he showed up right now, would you have the ovaries to tell him how you feel?”
“Sure, Auntie. If he walked through that door right now, I’d rush into his arms and tell him I’m wildly in love with him.” My nostrils flare, and I consider opening another bottle of wine. “Okay? Can we drop it now?”
Dolores stares at me for a moment, then says, “On one condition.”
“What?”
“You promise you’ll call him.”
Oh for...“I’m not…no. It’s over, much like this conversation.” I plug the sink and turn the taps on full blast, then squirt about a week’s worth of soap into the water.
“Yup. You’re a coward,” she says.
I ignore her and get started on the washing up. A moment later, I hear the familiar voice of Alex Trebek. I furiously wash the wine glass in my hand. “I am not a coward,” I mutter. “I’m smart.”
CHAPTER 36
Missing Brides and the Judgmental Maids of Honour Who Love Them…
Brianna
Today is the official start of the wedding festivities—a day I’ve been dreading since the horrible hen party incident. I’ve been up since before the sun, unable to sleep due to the big knot twisting in my gut. Is there any feeling worse than regret? Because if there is, I don’t know what it would be.
I’m currently scrubbing the walls of the garden suite, having stripped the bed and put the sheets in the washer earlier (while trying very hardnotto notice how deliciously Leo the pillowcase smelled). I’ve had no time to prepare the suite for a new renter, but now that my exams are over, it seems like the smart thing to do. It rained all night, and the clouds are still hanging overhead, casting a grey, lonely feeling to the world. Or I suppose that’s just me and my dramatic I’ll-be-alone-forever state of mind.
Dolores and Izzy are still in their jammies watchingDoc McStuffins, which is giving me some much-needed time to think of how to gracefully handle the wedding rehearsal. I plunge the rag into the bucket of hot, soapy water, then wring it out and get started on the windowsills. So far, I’m making a lot more progress with the cleaning than I am with figuring out how to handle this weekend. I’ve thought of attempting to get my hands on an invisibility cloak a la Harry Potter, and/or hiding behind Isabelle the entire time, but since invisibility cloaks don’t exist in the muggle world, and Izzy’s not quite four feet tall, it would prove somewhat difficult.
A knock at the door interrupts my pondering, and when I open it, Dane is standing on the other side, filling the entire doorframe, his thick eyebrows knitted together, and his face slightly damp and pale.
“Dane, are you all right?”
He shakes his head. “No, actually. I’m trying to find Amber. She called off the wedding.”
“Oh my God, what happened?” I ask, stepping aside to let him in.
“We had a big stupid fight last night about her not wanting to change her name. Now I can’t find her. I’ve been looking everywhere for her this morning, and I thought maybe she’d have come here since you hate me, too.”
Oh, ouch. I deserved that one. “I don’t hate you, Dane.”
“You certainly don’t like me.” He stuffs his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.
I close my eyes for a second. When I reopen them, I say, “I wish I could take back what I said. I cannot tell you how sorry I am.”
