“Yes, I am.”
“Jane Goodall never wore makeup.”
“Tell that to my mother,” I say with a little chuckle.
Apparently, he doesn’t get the joke, because he frowns a little as he looks me up and down. “She’s also very thin.”
Okay, we’re done here. “Yes. Yes, she is...”
***
Amber’s Bitches Group Text
KANDI: Hey, ladies! SO fun today at the bbq, no? Dane’s rents know how to throw a party. Anyone else still buzzed from the punch?
QUINN: Me!
VALERIE: Totes!
KANDI: I’m already hung over. LOL
Me: I had to drive home, so I didn’t have any.
KANDI: Okay, so I have the most epic plan for the big hen’s party! Two words: Las and Vegas!!!!
VALERIE: EEEEEKKKK!!!! YES TIMES A ZILLION!!!
QUINN: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, baby!!! When do we leave?
Me: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer here but Vegas sounds like it’ll be out of my budget. I could probably get us an ocean view suite at the resort for a weekend? We could do some spa treatments, relax on the beach, eat at the a la carte restaurants. Anyone up for that?
KANDI (after a twenty-minute pause, which I’m sure was spent with the rest of the bitches texting back and forth privately): Bree, Paradise Bay is super nice, and it’s really generous of you to offer, but we could all use a weekend away from the island—you especially. #singlemomlife #wegotyourbacksister
VALERIE: Agreed. You don’t want to have a party weekend where you work. That would be cray!
QUINN: Totes! Bree, you deserve an amazing fun party. Let yourself go for once! Plus, we’ve all been to the resort for so many functions already. We should go somewhere new. If Vegas is too expensive for you, maybe we could hop over toIsla del Sol for a couple of days.
KANDI: Great idea, QUINN! Patrick’s uncle has a gorgeous villa there right off Coco Beach, so we won’t have to drive to get to the bars. It’s a total party shack. Hot tub, eight bedrooms. AMAZING. I’ll see if we can get it.
VALERIE: Perfect! Done!
QUINN: Is that okay with you, Bree?
ME(After ten minutes of staring angrily at my phone): Sounds lovely. Thanks so much, Kandi.
CHAPTER 5
Brenemies (You know, Brothers Who are Also Enemies…)
Leopold
It’s late in the evening, and Emma has finally returned from the restaurant. I’m particularly glad she’s here, not only because there’s a distinct possibility that she may be able to help me find work, but because I genuinely like Emma. She has an adventurous spirit and is the perfect foil to my very serious, sceptical brother. She brings out something in him that I’ve never seen before. Empathy.
At the moment, she’s stretched out on one side of the long sectional in their living room while he rubs her feet. It’s quite something to see my brother like this—in love, that is.
A bottle of wine is open on the coffee table, and Emma sips at the glass Pierce poured for her while she reads over my contract. Emma will know what to do. And she won’t find this the least bit funny, unlike my brother, who hasn’t stopped snickering since Seth and my parole officer left this afternoon.
Jolene is a real peach, and I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible. I have to hand it to Seth though, he managed to find the one woman in the Benavente Islands who cannot be charmed by a man. My first attempt to do so was quickly thwarted by her raising her left hand and saying, “I’m going to stop you right there. Your little Prince Charming routine won’t work on me. You’re not my type.”
