Mum’s voice grows urgent. “Why don’t you go with your grandfather and get some lunch?”
My dad winks at Isabelle. “Don’t have to tell me twice. Us twin Sonny Bonos are starving, aren’t we?”
“You’re bloody well right we are,” Izzy says as her bell-bottoms sway in time with her steps.
Sadly, preschoolers lack the ability to control their voice volume, so her proper use of the phrase bloody well doesn’t go unnoticed by anyone within fifty feet. Swallowing hard, I say, “She heard that on the TV. I’m going to sell it…just sell the whole thing and get her reading instead.”
My mum does that little thing she does when she’s embarrassed, raising and lowering her eyebrows while she stares at the ground and purses her lips.
Lucky for me, Sharon comes to the rescue. “They all test out cursing at some point or another. Usually later… But never mind that. There’s someone I’d love to introduce you to. Our nephew, Evander.” She gives me a nudge and a wink. Literally. “He’s single, too, and is one of the groomsmen.”
My mother’s eyes light up, and she gives me the once over, suddenly looking panicked. Clutching Amber’s arm, Mum whispers, “Do you have some makeup here?”
“Of course I do.”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t—”
She ignores me and turns to Sharon. “Wait here. I’ll take her inside and get her done up.”
“No, thank you. I wouldn’t want to upset Mr. Bananas,” I say patting the stuffed monkey’s head. “You really should leave with the same date you came to a party with.”
Amber snickers. “You’re so funny, Bree. But seriously, you should meet Evander. He’s a nice guy.”
I give her a tight-lipped smile. “I’m really not in the market for love at the moment.” Glancing at Sharon, I add, “No offense to your nephew or anything. I’m sure he’s an amazing person. I’m just so swamped right now, studying for the bar exam and, you know, raising Isabelle.”
Sharon’s face falls. “Why don’t you at least wait till you meet him before you say no.”
I open my mouth, but my mum tugs on my arm. “Amber, I’ll take Bree inside. You need to stay out here with your guests.”
Amber gives me an apologetic look. “I have a makeup kit in my purse, which is in Dane’s room.”
Traitor.
***
Five minutes later, I find myself in Zidane’s delightfully air-conditioned childhood bedroom along with my mother. I’m sitting on his bed, facing a full-length mirror that hangs on the wall next to it. What kind of boy has a full-length mirror? I can picture him as a shirtless fifteen-year-old flexing his muscles and kissing his guns. Yick.
Now that we’re alone, my mum is going to talk some sense into me. “I cannot for the life of me figure out why you would insist upon making yourself look so plain. Honestly, it only takes fifteen minutes to blow out your hair and put on some makeup.” She digs around in Amber’s makeup kit and pulls out an eyeliner.
When she comes at me with it, I snag it from her before she can go to work. “Thanks, I got this. Although I don’t really see how it matters. Today is all about Amber, not me.”
“What kind of impression are you going to make on the Hammers? They’ll think you’re some kind offeministshowing up here like that.” She says the word feminist as though it’s the other F word.
“Well, Mum, since I do believe women should have equal rights to men, I guess I am a feminist. Also, like I said outside, I’m too busy for dating.”
She opens her mouth and then snaps it shut. Ah, silence.
I put the lightest dusting of taupe eyeshadow possible on my top lids while she watches. I can tell she wants to offer some sort of critique, but thankfully for both of us, she refrains. When she speaks again, my mum goes for the we’re-just-girlfriends-having-a-chat approach. “Love’s not something you can plan, Brianna. But if you’re open to it, you never know what could happen.”
“Sure I do. I could end up with two children.” I snap the eyeshadow case shut.
My mum grabs it from me and hands me the most terrifying of all makeup devices—an eyelash curler. I take it from her and turn back to the mirror.
“I don’t want you to end up old, broke, and alone like Dolores.”
“Auntie Dolores isn’t alone. She’s got Isabelle and me. And I’m certainly not going to be broke, because I’m good with my money, and in case you haven’t heard, barristers tend to do pretty well financially.”
“Oh, fine, I suppose you know everything, and I know nothing because I haven’t gone to law school.”
