“Well, I don't hate it nearly as much as I thought I would, if that's what you mean.” I'm on the phone with Zach while I stand on the veranda staring out at the jungle. It's the crack of dawn for him, but I knew he'd be up, and since Emma and I are taking a rare break, it seems like a good time to call. I sent him the first one hundred pages yesterday morning, and couldn’t wait to find out what he thought, but he’s refusing to talk about it until I tell him what it’s like to work with another human being.
“You don't hate it. Is that Pierce code for she’s wonderful, everything is amazing, and I’ve never been so happy in my entire life?” Zach asks, sounding all too amused.
“Obviously not. What we've got going here is a simple business arrangement. She helps me over the next few weeks, and I become the biggest influencer for her family’s resort. It's a simple exchange of services and nothing more.”
“You sure there aren'tother servicesyou'd like to exchange with her? I did see those photos in theWeekly World Newsandwow. Oh, but please don't say anything to Kennedy, because I told her I hadn't seen them.”
“Would she really be angry at you for seeing a photo of a gorgeous woman in a tight tank top and short shorts?” We both know the answer, but I’m asking anyway on the off chance he’ll come to the realization that marriage is a terrible mistake.
“You’ll understand when you're married.”
Nope. Didn’t work.
“I highly doubt I’ll ever understand this particular predicament. Now, more importantly, have you read the pages I sent?” I ask, feeling my stomach tighten as it always does when someone reads over my work.
“I have. In fact, I was up until after two a.m. because I couldn't tear myself away. You are one sadistic son of a bitch to put Ogden in the dungeon with Oona’s tigers. And then you just leave that storyline for over fifty pages? Diabolical.”
“Good, right?” I let out a sigh of relief, knowing that if Zach reacted this way, every Crownie out there will be in absolute agony.
“Honestly, Pierce, this is by far your best work. I don't know if it’s the tropical air, the pain meds, or this chef-slash-typist of yours, but it's inspired, eloquent, and completely riveting. The way you handled finding Draqen’s secret heir blew my mind. I woke Kennedy up because I yelled, ‘Shut the fuck up!’ as loud as I could.”
“That must have gone over well,” I say dryly.
“Oh yes, she was absolutely thrilled with me. If I get lucky again before I’m forty, it’ll be a huge win.”
“And you just turned…”
“Thirty-six, yes.”
“Better stock up on hand cream.”
“Already done,” he says. “Now, back to the book. My only advice would be for you to hurry and get it wrapped up as quickly as humanly possible.”
“Why, what have you heard?” I close my eyes for a moment, wincing in preparation for his answer.
“Kennedy had lunch with a showrunner at NBO. The word around the building is that the team is well into episode three already.”
“Fuck.”
“Sorry, mate. I thought you'd want to know.”
“Yes, of course. Well, in that case, I should get back at it.”
“Yes, you should. And don't let any beautiful brunettes distract you.”
“Impossible. Although she is using my shower right now…”
“You dirty dog. You are doing her, aren't you?” Zach asks with a chuckle.
“Only in my overly active imagination. We've basically been working around the clock for the past fourteen days. A week ago, she started sleeping here—well, to be honest, it’s more of a quick nap, then straight back to work—but it's all on the up-and-up. I'm on the couch, she's in my room. It's all fine, except…”
“Except that you wish it weren't strictly professional?”
“I am a man, and she's…well, as close to perfect as I suppose a woman can get.”
“Holy shitballs. I never thought I’d hear you say that about a woman. You sound almost…affected.”
“I’m not affected. I’m just...it’s just probably being in a tropical paradise. I think it puts ideas in a man’s head.”
