TWENTY-SIX
Scent Detectives, Meat Cows, and Anti-climatic Climaxes
Arthur - 26 Weeks 4 Days
It’s Friday morningand I’m madly trying to get through some very tedious paperwork that our legal team has marked ‘urgent,’ just like they do every other item that they pass across my desk. I promised Tessa I’d be done by ten o’clock so we can sneak away for the weekend to Didsbury Castle for our baby prep weekend. We haven’t had a chance to go yet and if we don’t now, our window will close. Dr. Dropp said she has to go on a bed-rest of sorts starting in a week, so no trips anywhere for her after that.
Today is a ‘do or die’ day. I could tell by the look on Tessa’s face when she asked me ‘what my day looked like’ when we were brushing our teeth this morning. I promised her that no matter what, we’ll be in Didsbury for lunch, and I better bloody well make that happen.
We still aren’t what you’d call ‘sympatico’ since the whole fish-swapping incident, even though I’ve definitely tried to make amends. The next day, I went out and bought her a fish charm for her Pandora bracelet, three dozen apology roses, and a new Nikon, which totally backfired, by the way. Apparently, it came off as a ‘buy your way out of trouble’ move, which Tessa isn’t a fan of and if I knew her better, I’d know that, and she justcouldn’t believeI’d flush Chester without so much as letting her say good-bye. All fair points.
I then offered to hold an intimate memorial service for Chester, with Tessa, Dexter, and myself in attendance, but she just shook her head at the idea. She named the new fish ‘Walter.’ At the time, I couldn’t place why that name was familiar, but last night I remembered that was the name of the missing son in the movie,The Changeling, so it’s nice to know she’s not planning to forget how we came by the new fish.
Last week, I took another crack at it and had her favourite shoes custom made to fit her um...new feet, which did seem to lift her spirits some. But honestly, that whole fish-swap thing was a monumental fuck up, and it’s going to take a long time for her to forget.
In the end, the entire incident may end up helping us out, however, because it has really opened the dialog on ‘how do we not spoil the children.’ We’ve spoken at length about it, and I think I’m finally starting to understand the importance of chores, job charts, and accountability, and let me tell you, I am 100% on side. It’s either get on side, or I can look forward to a lifetime of seeing my wife’s face pinched in disdain.
Anyway, I’m hopeful our weekend away together will help get us back on track again. Speaking of which, I better get my arse in gear so I won’t be late. I glance at the clock, and my stomach tightens. It’s now 9:18, and if I don’t pick up the pace, I’ll be forced to bring work with me, which won’t go over well. A quiet knock at the door interrupts me.
“Come in!”
Vincent walks in and shuts the door behind him. “Your Highness, your...er...mother-in-law is here with a group of friends. She’s requesting an audience with you.”
“Oh, I really don’t have time for this today.”
“I can tell her you can’t be disturbed.”
Sighing, I say, “No, that’s fine. It’s not that bloody scrapbook group again? My eyes are still adjusting after all the flash photography.”
“Based on their T-shirts, I believe these are bonsai enthusiasts.”
“Show them in, but do me a favour and find some reason to have them out of here in a few minutes.”
“Like a meeting with the Avonian Ambassador to the U.N.?”
“Brilliant, yes. Something like that.”
“You do have a meeting with the Avonian Ambassador to the U.N.”
“Shit. Is that today?”
“In exactly six minutes.”
“Dammit. I haven’t finished with these bloody forms from legal.”
“Why don’t I tell the bonsai people to come back?”
“No. I’ll never get through these in time anyway. Maybe call legal and find out exactly how urgent these aren’t.”
Vincent nods. “Excellent, sir.”
When he turns to leave, I say, “Vincent, I really must—”
“Be out of here by 9:52. I know. I’ll be in at exactly 9:50 to tell you the Prime Minister is on the phone and won’t be put off again.”
“Perfect.”
A moment later, Evi herds a group of about twenty people into my office, telling them how lucky they are that I have time to see them because I’m always so busy. I stand, plaster a smile on my face that’s leftover from my ‘campaigning to convince the public not to oust us’ days, and greet them.
