Veronica shifts uncomfortably in her chair and crosses those long, thin legs of hers, then moves along to the next point. She turns to me with a steady gaze and in her smooth voice says, "Princess Tessa, you’ve also come under the gun recently for your very sudden weight gain, which must be very hard for you, indeed. Unfavorable comparisons have been drawn between you and the Duchess of Cambridge, and a rendering of you on your due date prepared by a forensic artist suggests that you will be measuring the size of a fifty-three-week pregnant woman by then. Fifty-three weeks, as you know, is more than a year. It's further been suggested that you're not setting a very good example for the young women by allowing yourself to have what could be considered a very unhealthy pregnancy. Have the cravings been getting to you, or perhaps it's the stress of royal life?"
Arthur clears his throat. When he speaks, his tone has a very deliberate edge to it. "Veronica, I’ve always considered ABNC to be a friend to my family, but you need to know that if you want this interview to continue, I’d suggest you put a stop to this line of questioning, and now.”
Veronica sputters a bit, giving Arthur a window to say more. “For far too long, women have been subject to the most horrific body-shaming. What’s happening to my wife is another disturbing example of that. Tessa's pregnancy has had some complications, but she’s ever mindful of the need for a healthy pregnancy, and as such, she's made every effort to ensure things will progress safely."
Veronica does not seem at all embarrassed by the line of questioning and, in fact, doubles down on what she’s suggested. "But certainly, the proof is visible."
Arthur opens his mouth to speak, but this time I squeeze his hand. "There is a very good reason for how quickly I’ve gotten as big as I am. Arthur and I have been waiting for this interview to make our announcement, so why don't we just let the cat out of the bag?" I smile over at him, pretending that being questioned about how fat I've become during an internationally-televised interview isn't one of the most humiliating moments my life. "We're delighted to announce that we’re expecting twins."
Gasps are heard from around the room as Veronica and several staff members take in the news.
Veronica's mouth hangs open for a second, and then she gives us a big, phony smile. "How wonderful! Twins!" Tilting her head in what can only be described as a completely condescending manner, Veronica says, "Be honest. Thrilled or terrified?"
I say, "A little of both, actually.”
Arthur nods in agreement. "I, for one, am thrilled to be welcoming not one, but two little Langdons to the world. Although I’m not the one who has to carry them and go through the labour part.”
“Indeed,” Veronica says, “Oh my, I just realized that whichever baby is born first is going to be the heir to the throne.”
“Yes, I’ve been telling the babies they’ll have to race to get out of there because a few minutes difference will forever change their fates,” Arthur says with a chuckle.
Veronica laughs as though it’s the funniest comment ever made. Her face grows serious, and she says, "Princess Tessa. Let’s talk nannies. You recently denounced the use of nannies. Now that you’re havingtwobabies, are you feeling a bit of regret in that regard?”
“I wouldn’t say Idenouncedthe use of nannies; I merely said it wasn’t for us.”
“But now that you’re having twins, are you still sticking with that?”
“Yes. Definitely. My brother and sister-in-law have a set of twins, so I’ve learned so much watching them. Arthur and I agree on the importance of the parent-child bond, which requires you to be there at every turn to build trust. We’ll be there no matter what, whether it be 2 o'clock in the morning or one in the afternoon.”
"Except when it comes to dirty nappies," Arthur says with a chuckle.
"Indeed," Veronica says with a laugh. “You’ll want to farm that bit out, won’t you?”
“No, I won’t,” I answer. “Changing nappies is a prime bonding moment. There’s a lot of eye contact between caregiver and child, it’s a time to talk or sing to them.”
Veronica stares at me for a moment as though I’ve just said I’m going to fry up the placenta and eat it on tortilla chips, then looks at the camera. “There you have it, folks. As the next generation of royals is brought into the world, we’re sure to see many more examples of modern parenting. Thank you to Prince Arthur and Princess Tessa for your time today. Giles Bigly will be live tomorrow as we meet with the royal accountant for a look at the books. Hopefully, no surprises there.”
“None, I’m sure,” Arthur says smoothly. “Thank you for having us on today and giving us the chance to share our exciting news.”
