“The thing is, I’m not sure Iwantto delegate things. Except maybe diaper cleaning. That sounds awful, but the rest I want to do myself.”
Arabella’s nose wrinkles up at the thought. “Oh God, no. Don’t do that yourself.”
Shaking her head, Nikki says, “Tessa, I think you’ve got baby brain. You’re literally living every woman’s dream. Married to a handsome prince. Rich beyond your wildest imagination. Able to get backstage at any concert to come to Avonia pretty much forever. Plus, you can have a baby without having to ever clean up after her or cook for her or go to the grocery store to do the weekly shopping with a screaming toddler in the trolley. Just enjoy it. Please. For me. The nightmare is just...nonsense.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
Nikki puts her hand on my arm. “I am right. Trust me. Everything will be fine.”
“Right. I know. It’s an amazing life.” I have a sip of water while alarm bells go off in my head.
Arabella’s cell phone buzzes. When she looks down at the screen, she sighs heavily. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to step inside to make a phone call. It’s about the People for Animals Run.”
She slides on her flip-flops and hurries in, with Bellford following her.
When we’re alone, I say, “I’m sure it’ll all be fine.”
“The charity run?”
“No, raising the next heir to the throne.”
“Oh, that. Yes. Of course it will. It’ll be more than fine. It’ll be fabulous.”
“It’s just that...”
Nikki sighs. “I knew you weren’t going to let this go.”
“I didn’t want to say this in front of Arabella, but what if raising humans in such a state of luxury isn’t healthy? What if she ends up being a totally spoiled, entitled brat who I won’t even like when she’s grown?”
“Hmm.” Nikki taps her cheek with one finger. “You may have a point there.”
“I know, right? Like, how is it possible to hand a child everything their heart desires without turning them into a total nightmare of a human being? I mean, Arthur and Arabella are obviously wonderful—”
“—obviously.”
“But what if together, Arthur and I make terrible parents and we screw up so badly that we end up producing a Joffrey fromGame of Thrones?”
Nikki’s eyes grow wide. “Oh, God. I never thought of that.”
“What if wethinkwe’re doing everything right, but she becomes a total tyrant? I mean, it’s not like turning out a nasty accountant or a surly postal worker. This is the futurequeen.”
“Or king,” Xavier calls over his shoulder.
“Either way, this baby could end up ruining the lives of millions of Avonians. Say, if she wants to suddenly increase taxes or cut pensions or...or I don’t know...be the fairest of them all so she has all the models in the kingdom put to death.”
“Okay, well that last example is probably unlikely, but the other two...”
“Could totally happen, right?”
Nikki bites her bottom lip. “Shit, Tess. This is high stakes parenting.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell Arthur, but he won’t listen. He keeps insisting everything will be fine. But I don’t see how he could possibly know that. I mean, we’ll basically be raising the baby in a vacuum. How will I know if we’re doing it right if I don’t have other mum friends to compare babies with?”
Xavier pipes up from his position by the door. “There are thousands of parenting experts out there. I’m more than happy to start researching books and articles for you.”
“Oh, well, that’s...very kind of you, Xavier, but I could never ask you to do that. You’ve already been such a help with the whole nutrition thing.”
And the last thing I need is the world’s most muscular nag after me for my lack of parenting skills for the next twenty years or so...
