THIRTY-FIVE
Adoption—The Much Less Terrifying Option
Arthur
Well, this whole ‘havinga baby’ thing is for the birds, if you ask me. I've never felt this panicked in my entire life, and I can tell you it is not a good feeling, especially when there is literally nothing I can do to change the outcome here. All I can do is stand by and watch, helpless and quite frankly clueless as to what to do to control the outcome or provide any comfort to Tessa at all, really.
And what in the fuck does ‘that wasn’t so fun for Baby A’ supposed to mean? I can’t even bring myself to think about the possibilities. I found Ollie, and he’s on the phone right now, trying to reach the chief of police whilst I'm hurrying back to Tessa and trying to put my game face on.
The last thing she needs is to know how worried I am, but I'm going to be really honest with you right now, she doesn't look that good—and I don't mean because she's sweaty and swollen and quite frankly has terrible breath at the moment (which she really can't help because they won't let her eat or drink anything). I mean her skin tone has a strange slightly grey quality to it I've never seen before. I catch Dr. Patell just as he's leaving room six on his way back to Tessa.
"Doctor, is Tessa going to be all right?"
"Absolutely. We're going to do everything we can to keep her safe and bring both of these babies into the world bouncing and happy. Except not the bouncing part." He chuckles a little. “I promise to catch them."
"Very reassuring, thank you."
He and I make the rest of the walk to the room together in silence. I feel a desperation come over me to say something, anything at all, that will make him want to go the extra mile for my wife and kids. But for the life of me, I can't think of the right words, which is highly frustrating since finding the right words is usually my thing.
"Dr. Patell..." My voice cracks, and I stop talking.
He turns to me and nods. “I know."
He pushes the door open, and I follow him into the room. "Princess Tessa, the rest of your support team is back," he says confidently.
I smile at Tessa, aiming for reassuring, but when I see how she looks, I'm pretty sure my smile has disappeared.
“I’m not feeling very well," she says, her voice sounding weak.
“Of course you don't, darling girl. You're in labour, and you haven't eaten since yesterday." I walk over and take her hand in mine, lifting my other hand to her face to brush the hair off her cheek.
"That's not what I mean.” Her eyes are dark and scared. She winces, and that damn beeping starts on all of the machines now, this time loud and persistent.
"Tessa? Tessa, I’m right here." I touch her cheek. It feels clammy, but it's not hot like before. "She feels cold. Why is that beeping still going? Tessa? Tessa. Open your eyes, sweetheart."
All at once, the nurse and Dr. Patell both seem to realize something I do not. Suddenly, they kick into high gear, Nurse Smith unhooking the machines whilst Dr. Patell releases the brake on the bed. Nurse Smith hurries to the door and holds it open, yelling down the hall that they need assistance immediately. Dr. Patell starts pushing the bed out of the room himself.
“Move,” he barks at me.
I jump out of the way. "What's going on? Where are you taking her?"
"To the OR. I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait here. There's no time."
I follow them out into the hall and watch as a team of medical professionals seems to come out of nowhere, surrounding the bed as they rush down the hall, taking everything that matters to me away.
Fuck it. I’m following them. I start to run after them, only to be locked out when the doors to the OR wing close behind them. Stopping, I turn, panicked, coming face to face with Xavier.
“Where the fuck is Dr. Dropp?” I say. “Why isn’t she here?”
“She’s on her way,” Xavier says quietly. “Her ETA is T-minus two minutes.”
“For Christ’s sake, just say two minutes if that’s what you mean. Nobody needs the T-minus bit,” I snap. Feeling immediately guilty, I say, “Sorry, Xavier. I just...”
Xavier puts his hand on my shoulder. “She’ll be all right. They all will. They’re in good hands, sir. There’s an entire team of professionals who know what they’re doing. I know it’s scary, but she’ll be okay.”
He seems so sure that I nod, trying to calm down a bit, but then another wave of fear hits. “What if she isn’t? What do I do then?”
***
