I am not yours to manage.
He couldn’t have been clearer at the start. Pleasure, innocence, he’d take. Knowledge, satisfaction, he would give. But beyond that?
No matter what she wished or how she schemed or struggled, his heart might as well have a sign that saidclosed. He may have bound her to him, but a pit of nasty scorn spread its first, tenacious roots in her core.
“How is it”—he propped his head beneath his arm—“you canstillmanage to shock me?”
She searched his face for some sign he had an inkling of how deeply she’d been affected. She found none.Heremained remote, the same old brawn, while she had her heart on the floor.
“What happened was not just…” She steadied her voice. He’d been correct about something else—she couldn’t force him to feel. “I amnotshocking.”
“Oh yes.” He chuckled half-heartedly. “Yes, you are.”
“Shocking.” She lifted herself onto her elbow and away from his heat. Her gaze fixed on the door. “As in a discomfort one wishes to avoid.”
“Well, I didtry.”
Her breath quickened as if she’d been running.
In a way, she had.
She’d been chasing Rayne for almost two years. Makinghimher means and her end—the thing she coveted or the absence she fought against.
She hadn’t caught him, either. Instead, he’d caught her. She couldn’t imagine ever feeling such pleasure with anyone else. She couldn’t imagine opening her mind and body how she had, listening to his as she’d done, with anyone who hadn’t claimed her heart.
She may or may not still be a maiden, but he’d marked her—mind, heart, and body. And all he could say was…
“Shocking,” she repeated.
His rough finger touched her spine, sending signals through her nerves. Signals that saidyou’re mine. Signals that lied.
“Are you sorry?” she asked.
“Are you?”
“Idon’t intentionally pursue something I know I’m going to regret. But, as you pointed out, you weren’t exactly thrilled when we began.”
“I was teasing, Julia,” he exhaled. “Frankly, I haven’t any idea what I feel. I haven’t a thought in my head…but for food.”
Food?
She rolled her eyes. He couldn’t see her face, anyway. Her deliberate defiance ousted him in some small way, as if she’d sent a signal to her heart that she needn’t seriously consider his words, actions, or feelings.
If she had learned anything in the last eighteen months, she’d learned Rayne would do what was best for Rayne. Now, she would do what was best for her.
But whatwasbest for her?
She might as well be asking, what would the earth orbit if the sun were removed?
“You’re quiet,” he commented. “I don’t like when you’re quiet.”
She glanced over her shoulder. “You don’t like when I’m quiet. You don’t like when I chatter. I do believe I finally get your point.”
He frowned. “What point?”
“You don’t likeme, do you, Rayne?”
He exhaled as if he were deeply weary.
