The kind that whispered, “I had no other choice.”
He’d been here once before. And he’d behaved badly. He’d not permit an ounce of self-deception this time. He’d told her he wanted to be rid of her, but he did not.
He was here, in this carriage, because there was nowhere else he’d rather be.
He would not subject her to his unwanted kisses again; however, no matter what obstacles they faced, he would do whatever he must to keep Julia by his side for as long as she was willing to stay.
Why? Because, when she’d been ill, his crazed wanting had muted, leaving behind what had almost felt like…
Like…
He blinked, startled.
Like love.
Inwardly, he scoffed. Her word from that long-ago night,nothis.
What did he know of love? Nothing. All he knew was that Julia fit into none of his prescribed boxes. She was thoroughly feminine but tough as a chopping block. She exasperated him, but she knew her own mind. The most frustrating thing about her, he supposed, was that she wouldn’t give up.
Nor did he want her to give up…on him.
But that wasn’t right, was it?
She was eloping.
Again, he must remember—she’d saidstop.
And he must remember Cracked-skull…Alistair Edmund or Edmund Alistair. Whatever the hell he was called.
She caught his gaze with a sideways glance of her own and responded by making herself smaller in the corner.
Had she turned paler?
Even though he’d likely caused her distress, he wanted to reach out, to comfort.
“Are you ill?” he asked.
“I’m not.”
“Just sorry you chose to continue, then?
She held his gaze. “No… But Iamsorry the rector and Miss Watson have gone through all this trouble.”
“Miss Watson?”
“The maid said the rector was with a woman.” She frowned. “I’m not sure it was Miss Watson. I suppose he could have brought his wife.”
“The rector must care for you a great deal to have come after you in this weather.”
“Or”—her eyes crinkled—“perhaps he just dislikes you.”
“Beyond Farring, most do.”
“Ido.” Her grin disappeared. “Like you, I mean.”
A strange sensation filtered through his chest. Like him? After everything he’d done?
Her throat moved as she swallowed. “You know I didn’t mean what I said, don’t you?”
