“You said speed up. That’s what I did!”
Caroline made a placating motion with her hands. “Alright. Alright. My bad. Calm down.”
To me, she mouthed “Oh my God. So sensitive” while rolling her eyes.
It was a struggle not to smile at their interaction as the car rocketed forward, reaching the exit ramp and barely making it through the traffic light at the top.
Caroline snapped to attention, her focus on the tiny dot of the motorcycle’s tail lights up ahead where it was in the midst of turning into a strip of shops. “Avoid the bypass and get in the second to right lane. Turn at the light past this next one.”
“This is it. I’m going to die. You’re going to kill me when you don’t need me anymore,” the human moaned.
“We’re not going to kill you,” I grumbled, scanning the shop in the strip mall. My gaze settled on one in particular. A bar. The Lounge. I’d heard of it in passing. It was something of a local haunt. It had been listed on Columbus’s top ten dive bars at one point or another, earning it some fame.
It wasn’t a bar I’d ever been to. Partly because rumor had it the owner hated vampires. But mostly because when I felt like drinking, I went to the Blue Pepper. They had the best lemon drop martinis and I liked the atmosphere.
“Are you going to kill him?” the human asked.
Now why did that question sound almost hopeful?
I struggled for patience. “Also no.”
Caroline propped her arm on the frame of the door next to her and buried her face in her arm, her shoulders shaking suspiciously.
“Don’t worry—you won’t remember any of this tomorrow,” I told him, trying to be reassuring.
“Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Youaregoing to kill me.”
“What the fuck? I just told you I wasn’t!”
How did he get from “you won’t remember” to “you’re going to die”?
Peals of laughter came from Caroline as she lost the battle with her amusement.
Meanwhile, our driver was practicing deep breathing as he inhaled through his nose and exhaled through his mouth. “I’ve heard all about this on the podcasts I listen to. You’re taking me to a secondary location where you’ll butcher me into little pieces. Then you’ll mail my body parts across the country as a sick taunt to law enforcement.”
Caroline’s laughter cut off. She lifted her head to stare at the human in sick fascination.
I blinked. And blinked again. “That’s oddly specific.”
Disturbingly so.
Talk about intrusive thoughts.
“I’m going to die tonight. I just know it. My mother is going to be crushed.” The man rocked back and forth, holding onto the steering wheel for dear life. “My house is a mess. If I’d known this was coming, I would have taken the time to clean it. Now everyone is going to think I’m a slob.”
Caroline was still staring. “Wow.”
I elbowed her in the side, giving her a look that said cool it. “I told you. We’re not going to hurt you. We just needed to borrow your car for a little while.”
Next time, I was going to order my victim to hand over the keys rather than have them drive me around. So much less drama that way.
“Please don’t start crying again,” I pleaded as his shoulders started to tremble.
Too late from the sound of the sobs coming from the front seat.
“You’re doing great,” Caroline assured me.
“I can’t tell you how much your compliment means to me.”
