Yet she had.
Video of the incident, taken from those ships nearby and the planet below, showed a bright flash coinciding with the moon's eruption. Her burst. It was likely what saved her life.
Too bad it hadn't saved Elise and the Curs as well. Or the CSS Vega.
That was what tortured Kira some nights. The thought that she could have saved them if only she'd been better. More skilled.
Pallas’s expression was inscrutable as he flew the ship. "I never figured you for a masochist."
Kira flicked a glance at him. Since his declaration regarding the forty three, they hadn't really talked. He'd shut her out immediately afterward, treating her to an icy silence that she wasn't sure she wanted to breech.
There was a chance that this was all a mind game Pallas was playing for some unknown reason. He did have a history.
Something told her he wasn't lying though. That every word had been the truth as he understood it.
Pallas tilted his head at the window and the planet below. "What down there is so important that you'd be willing to come back here?"
The lenacht perched on Pallas's shoulder lifted its head, looking at her as if it was wondering about that too.
"Just get us down there, Pallas. That's all you have to do."
Pallas's eyes narrowed. "What are you hiding from me?"
Kira's face was hard as she faced him. "I agreed to let you tag along. Nothing was said about me having to answer your questions."
The moments slipped by as Pallas examined her. It wasn't until the lenacht chirped and butted its head against his cheek that he relented.
"Have it your way then," Pallas drawled, turning back to the ship's controls.
Kira didn't listen to him, occupied with staring out the window at the moon.
Twelve years. Twelve long, agonizing years.
That's how long it had been since she'd stood on a ship much bigger than this one with Rothchild and its moon glistening orbs below. The last time she was here her life had been knocked off course and her happiness stolen.
How fitting then that the place that had taken everything from her was now the thing that would give it back.
Graydon joined her, his hand brushing hers in a soft caress. "Have you been back since it happened?"
While he waited for her response, Graydon entangled his fingers with hers. An anchor holding her to the here and now.
Kira released a silent breath, shaking away the sad memories.
"Jin ensured we avoided this section of the galaxy."
It wasn't something they'd ever talked about, but Kira knew he was the reason she'd never received any salvaging missions for the Tsavitee fleet the moon's blast had destroyed. Just one of the many ways he'd taken care of Kira over the years. Sometimes subtly. Other times more obviously.
Seeing the concern in Graydon's gaze, Kira understood what he was really asking.
She offered him a tiny smile. "I won't lie and say I'm okay. Being here—" Her gaze wandered to the window. "It's a reminder."
But maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Kira had tried to forget. To run and not look back.
It hadn't helped.
Sometimes to heal, you had to lance the wound and drain away the pus infecting it.
When she'd decided to block everything from that time period, to wall it up so she didn't have to deal with the emotional aftermath, she'd also locked away all the good things too.
