Even if Kira had to use force to accomplish her objective.
Harlow schooled his features, but not before Kira caught the faint note of concern there.
He didn't agree with her course of action. Not entirely anyway. He thought she was being reckless. True, but Kira didn't know how to be any other way right now.
"Very well. If this is your wish," Harlow said, the sense of defeat in his voice puncturing the impenetrable shell she'd wrapped around herself. The wall that had been there since she'd awoken from her fugue state three days ago. The tiny pinprick it opened allowed her to push back the tide of numbness. Just a bit. Enough for his earlier expression to make sense.
Sorrow and regret. That's what she'd seen. How had she missed that?
"Uncle," Kira managed.
Her voice was faint. Almost inaudible but it spurred her to latch onto her connection with him. She used it to drag herself out of the morass she'd fallen into in the brief span of time she'd spent staring out the window.
How easy it had been to get lost. To descend into a state where the outside world didn't seem to matter.
It was a temporary reprieve from the grief that weighed on her. More likely to backfire than help.
Yes, the numbness offered a respite from the pain and guilt, but it also deadened her perception. It made it so she couldn't remember what was important. The people around her. Not just Jin and Elena but her uncle and all the others she'd need to get through this.
The funny part was that this wasn't her first time down this road. The last time she'd broken herself. Almost irreparably.
Harlow set a hand on her arm, the physical touch bolstering her. "I feel like I've failed you. I promised she'd be safe."
"We all failed that day. Not just you."
Her failure was what hurt the most. The innocent would pay the price for her ineptitude. That knowledge ate at her, but she wouldn't let it destroy her. Not again.
"That's why we're here, though, isn't it?" she asked, her gaze steady. "To correct our oversight."
By any means necessary.
"Just promise me one thing," Harlow said, pain on his face. "You'll come back at the end of this. To your House."
Kira didn't like making promises she couldn't keep. With where she was going and what she planned to do, there was no such thing as certainty. She was fully aware she might die in this endeavor.
Harlow was a man Kira respected. Moreover, he was family. One of only two blood relatives she knew of.
Lying, even as a way to give him hope, felt wrong.
"Don't worry so, Uncle. I've just started to live again. I won't jeopardize what I've gained."
Unless there was really no other alternative.
Harlow was no fool. He didn't need to hear that last part to understand that was where her head was at.
"Don't forget, niece. You're of Roake now. Call for us and we will answer."
His offer was a kindness. One she didn't know if she'd be able to bring herself to take advantage of.
"Do you ever fear your house may resent you for allowing me to drag them into my vendetta?"
It was what she was afraid of. That they'd come to hate her for the loss of lives. Tuann lived for a long time. Thousands of years if something didn't forcefully end their life. But they procreated extremely slowly. A single disastrous battle could wreak havoc on a House, taking centuries to recover from.
Technically speaking, the Tuann were never at war with the Tsavitee. Only a few in the emperor's court and some in the upper ranks of Roake's House knew about the presence behind the Tsavitee. A group responsible for enslaving the Tuann many thousands of years ago. The masters, as they were known. The rest of the Tuann had no clue. Some of the other Houses might suspect but most were in the dark. They'd wonder why they had to put their lives on the line for someone who could barely be considered one of them. A child stolen from them during an event the Tuann referred to as the Sorrowing.
As a result, Kira hadn't grown up Tuann. Until recently, she'd considered herself human. A product of clandestine gene experiments but homo sapiens nonetheless.
For that reason, she'd prefer not to drag House Roake into a war they didn't desire and one that would likely cost them considerably.
