What are you thinking?
“History repeating itself.”
She didn’t want to lose everything again.
Tate was reluctant to voice the doubts in her heart—the ones that whispered taunts that maybe she shouldn’t have ever woken up. That she was the cause of all this. It would be too easy to wallow in guilt and recrimination. To use blame to torture herself for all the wrongs committed.
But that would be arrogance.
Life happened. It wasn’t always tidy or clean. Sometimes it was messy and people died. Mistakes were inevitable. The more important thing was what you did after you made them. When life ground you beneath its heel telling you to bend or break, that resistance was futile. That was when you truly found out who you were.
You feel sadness for the mad one’s death.
Tate allowed herself a faint smile. “That’s part of it.”
But not all?
“No. Not all.”
Tate stared up at the statues. Her friends.
She was still in a funny mood after what had happened in the tunnels beneath Aurelia. Christopher’s death had brought back memories she thought she’d forgotten. Of sacrifices made and things lost.
“What do you remember of the Ijiri?” Tate asked, not taking her attention from the faces of the Saviors.
Her memories around them were still murky. It was odd to have an enemy you knew almost nothing about. To have so many people reference them as the root of all evil but have no firsthand accounts to assure you they were right.
It was like fearing the night simply because of its potential to conceal the monsters. Not that it did, but that it could.
Night’s quiet lasted a long time. Long enough that Tate thought he wouldn’t answer.
Not much. Mostly I remember a room and a beautiful creature who was just like me. Only better. Stronger. With a pure soul that couldn’t be tainted or twisted. No matter what was done to her she never gave in. Not like I did.
“What happened to her?”
Night looked away.They waited until she gave birth and then took her away. I never saw her again.
Tate’s lip parted. “Could she be asleep?”
No. She’s dead.Night padded away from Tate as Grandmaster Keel stepped into the cavern.I don’t know what Christopher said to you to make you question yourself but to me this matter is easy. The Ijiri murdered the mother of my children. They destroyed my light in the dark. They are monsters and killers.
Tate looked from Night to the statues of the Saviors, her feelings complicated.
Don’t lose track of what matters, Tate. This world is filled with gray and was fucked up long before we returned to it. We’re not wrong to protect those we care about.
“Even if it means killing others?”
Night stopped and looked at her.Would you have to kill them if they weren’t trying to take your life?
Tate tilted her face towards the ceiling and closed her eyes. That was right. This person who questioned every move she made wasn’t her.
Matters were complicated but they were also simple. Protect what mattered. Leave everything else for later.
Tate moved toward where Night waited.
The grandmaster’s gaze was enigmatic as it strayed toward the empty alcove and the pitiful number of offerings there before returning to Tate. Whatever he thought was well hidden, his expression holding the peace and self-assurance she’d expect in a holy man.
“Lady Winters, this way, if you would.” He gestured to the door that would lead them into the private area of the temple. A place where the general public wasn’t allowed to trespass unless invited.
