Her laugh rang out as she shot away again in time to catch sight of Graydon playing tag as alu-ongchased after him, cutting through the water only to spring toward Graydon at the last second.
He flipped, narrowly evading thelu-ong’steeth, before veering to avoid its mate as it shot out of the water.
Deep chuckles rumbled through her mind, the sense that thelu-ongconsidered this a type of dangerous game strengthening.
To her left, Raider had found his ownlu-ong, racing up its side with the same crazy grin she knew had been on her face. During the war, they'd rarely rode the boards for the simple joy of it. Riding had become a means to an end. It had made them forget why each of them started riding in the first place.
Kira, because it tamed some of the turmoil that always seemed to dance beneath her skin. Raider, as a means of escape from the shitty adults in his life and as a way to channel his fury at the world.
For her, it had always been the feeling of pushing her body to the limits, defying the laws of physics simply because she could. One-upping her friends with tricks that took months of practice to pull off, only to watch them do the same to her.
Loss threatened to steal some of the joy from the afternoon.
Here, IN this moment, she could admit how tired she was of carrying the weight she'd freely accepted. She knew it would be so easy to take what Graydon and House Roake were offering. A home. A place to belong. People to share it with.
But what happened when her past came knocking? Would they accept the flaws and the scars? The nightmares?
Right now, Roake had a pretty dream of who they thought she was. The babe stolen from them, now returned. A victory they could reclaim against loss and tragedy.
They didn't see the person she was. Someone who had survived despite herself. It hadn't always been pretty. She'd done things that kept her up at night. She didn't know if they could accept that.
Part of that was her fault. She hadn’t given them a chance to know her.
Kira's gaze lingered on Graydon's powerful form as he streaked across the waves, yearning a knot in her chest.
Wishes and hopes were for children, something she'd never had a chance at being. She did what was necessary. Even when it was difficult.
For a split second, her resolve wavered, wanting wrapped up in desire.
But in the end, one thing had always been clear. What the Tsavitee wanted was something she would never allow them to have.
They were locusts. Consuming and destroying everything in their path. Her goal wasn't the lower forms; it was the ones pulling strings behind the scenes. The ones Himoto hadn't believed existed until too late.
But the Tuann might believe. The statue of their enemies of old proved as much.
Her conversation with her uncle made her think they knew more than they were telling. Roake might prove a valuable ally—if she could take the risk of trusting them.
That was the sticking point.
Graydon was an honorable man. She knew this to her bones. She might not like his method of getting what he wanted, but she never doubted he always had the best interests of his people at heart.
But did those interests align with hers? Could she trust the people around him as much as she did him? Those were the real questions.
She didn't have an answer, and until she did, she was stuck in the middle. Too afraid to move forward, knowing there was no easy way back.
The higher forms had an agenda. A plan. One that shifted and warped every time she thought she caught hold of it. The Tuann were part of that plan. Something told her they were the linchpin upon which everything else turned.
She needed to learn how.
"We have to protect this," Kira whispered.
"We will, Kira," Jin told her in a soft voice. "And I'll be right there with you. To the end if necessary."
The lizard nuzzled her cheek before biting her gently in rebuke.
"There is no me without you," he said. "Remember that when you think about leaving."
"I never intended to let myself fade into the night," she said.
