“We weren’t there,” Blue said. “Raider had a short-term assignment on another ship in transit to one of our military bases. He was supposed to rendezvous with them after the treaty with the Haldeel. I had already left for training.”
Across the room, Graydon caught the faint echo of conversation from the humans.
"Two guesses what she offered to get them to change course," Blue muttered.
Raider sent her a hard look. "We don't have to guess. We know."
Graydon wasn't deceived by Raider's easy manner. The human hid it well, but he was furious. The kind of anger that tasted like acid as it ate you up from the inside out.
Kira wasn't the only one this discussion had touched a nerve in. Judging by the hostile way those two were examining the Tuann around them, neither was particularly happy with what had just happened.
Raider struck Graydon as someone who sought control in all aspects of his life, much more so than most probably realized. It made him a dangerous enemy. Right now, he was cataloging the different ways he could hurt those around them and judging whether the risk was worth the reward.
The woman beside him wasn't as contained, stabbing at her tablet with anger.
Graydon's head cocked. Such interesting individuals Kira chose to surround herself with.
He could see why she showed a reluctance to abandon them. Despite Harlow's hopes, she'd never fully embrace Roake. The humans would always hold a piece of her. Unless the Tuann could claim a piece of her as well, their hopes of tying her to them would be in vain.
Graydon hid a sigh as the hologram caught his notice again, acknowledging Kira had ample reason to be upset. Not many oshota he knew could have spoken so matter-of-factly about the events which led to their pods’ deaths.
Whether she'd meant to or not, Kira had earned points with the oshota of Roake. They would remember her poise when confronted with such a devastating memory. He had no doubt many of those in the seats beside him would ask Harlow for a chance to serve at her side.
Kira might not wish it, but she'd just cemented herself as Roake. They claimed those they loved and were loath to part with them. They wouldn't easily give her up.
Graydon relaxed into his seat. This was an interesting development. All the more so because it hadn't been planned—at least on Kira's part.
Wren pulled his gaze from the door where Kira had disappeared, a thoughtful frown on his face. He stood, addressing Rheya, "One of the hardest things to learn is to see what isn't obvious. You made assumptions based on faulty data. Next time you will know to look below the surface to the motivations that aren't so easily discerned."
Chastened, Rheya returned to her seat as Wren took her place before the table.
"Now, I'd like to discuss the Thratni engagement," he said to the initiates.
Graydon quelled his impatience, knowing going after Kira at this stage would tip his hand. He had duties here, and as much as it might chaff, there was no getting out of them.
He forced himself to relax. She had Finn with her. Of any Graydon knew, Finn would have the best chance of breaking through to her right now. He had experienced something similar and knew what she was going through.
SIXTEEN
Kira moved quickly through the halls, uncaring of her direction as she fought to hold herself together. The diamond-hard shell she'd built around memories of that time was beginning to show hairline cracks, the emotions she'd buried deep seeping from its crevasses.
The sense of loss, the feelings of guilt over her part in their deaths, the soul-crushing sadness. It would be so easy to lose herself to their murky depths.
Logically, she knew the Curs would never have wanted her to feel this way. They would have been furious with her that she was still allowing this to fuck with her mind.
What had happened had happened. No amount of protest or argument would change things now.
It was war. Someone was always going to die. It was just their bad luck they were the ones to go.
Her Curs were dead. The majority of her family—the ones she'd carved from a harsh world—were dead. Misfits and the disenfranchised who'd found a home with her. All gone.
Sometimes she wanted to rage thinking about it. To rend and tear and destroy.
For a while, immediately after the war, she'd done exactly that. She'd tracked down any hint of Tsavitee presence and eradicated it. Picked fights with people and organizations she had no business antagonizing.
She wasn't proud to admit she'd been on a path of self-destruction, glorying in her descent.
Jin was the one to bring her around again.
