"We're done, and I never want to see you again."
Kira inhaled deeply, not letting herself outwardly react. Of any threat he could have made, he knew this one would hit home. Worse, she could tell he meant it. This wasn't one of those times where he'd get angry and then forgive her a few hours later. If she walked away now, she was doing it alone.
She folded her arms across her chest, resisting the urge to hunch in on herself. She'd never been separated from Jin for any length of time. The prospect of losing him—it was too terrible to contemplate.
Sometimes you didn't know what you had until you lost it. Sometimes you knew, but you managed to fuck it up anyway.
He had a point. She had made him promises. Herself too.
Like it or not, they were both defined by what had happened to them as children. It was a weight they dragged behind them no matter where they went or what they did to escape it. They had forced themselves to rise above it but still carried the scars.
Kira's were too many to enumerate; Jin's fewer but more complicated.
He feared abandonment, of facing this world alone, a monster no one could ever truly understand.
Those first few years had been difficult, and Kira thought she'd lose him again. She'd vowed to find him a way back to a body—barring that, she would never leave his side.
"If I may, there might be an easy solution," Silas said when the silence lengthened.
Kira cut an angry glance at him.
"Come to Ta Sa’Riel. See who we are. Learn about us," Silas offered.
"And once I'm there, I'll likely never leave," Kira pointed out.
"We’re not interested in caging you," Silas said. "All we want is to see you thrive. If you truly cannot find a place there, you will be free to go. We only ask that you wait until yourkihas been healed, and we’ve been assured you can protect yourself. Passing the sequence of trials leading to the adva ka would go a long way to doing that. Until then, you will be a treasured guest of our House."
Kira studied him. He seemed sincere, but she also didn't know him well enough to know if he was faking.
"We hope, of course, you will come to find your place among us and won't wish to leave," he said with a gentle smile.
Not likely. Kira had a place once. It was gone. She didn't plan to chance the pain of having a home ripped from her again.
Graydon's sober expression caught her attention. "Silas is honorable. If he says you can walk away at any time, he means it."
For all that they were on opposing sides, Kira found herself trusting Graydon. He hadn't given her a reason to do otherwise.
"All right, I'll do it. I'll come with you," Kira said.
There was a slight whirring noise as Jin started for the door.
"Where are you going?" Kira asked.
"Away. I don't want to see your face right now."
The door shut behind him, leaving Kira staring at the place where he'd disappeared.
"Ouch. I didn't know Tin Man could get that angry with you," Raider murmured.
Kira didn't answer. She couldn't. He'd left her. Even after she'd given in. This was a nightmare from which there was no escape.
"Is now really the time for this?" Jace asked.
Raider smiled. "There's no better time."
Her nostrils flared as she inhaled deeply, trying to compose herself, all too aware the Tuann were still watching.
Concentration was difficult with the incredible pressure in her chest. It was filling her up, making it hard to think or breathe.
