It felt weird being under a roof again with four walls surrounding her after months of sleeping outside.
She'd only lasted a few minutes in bed before finding her way to the window and the stars beckoning outside.
This place made her feel penned in, stifled, as she yearned for the freedom of the outdoors, where the only roof you needed was one made of blackness and glittering, icy perfection. Where walls were only in your mind and a mattress made of grass cradled your bones.
Odd, but she'd never felt the loneliness when she was out there. Not like she did tonight where it was an ache deep inside—one that made her yearn for impossible things.
She didn't know if it was because she had gotten used to drifting off with the snores of the warriors echoing in her ears, or if she missed a certain Anateri’s presence as he bedded down a few feet from her, but it was long past the time to visit dreamland, yet here she still sat.
"What are you doing, Eva?" she asked herself.
She didn't know—and that was alright.
She could drift and think in the quiet. It was her time, lonely though it might be.
Humming to herself, she watched the night. She didn't know how long she sat there before her gaze gravitated to the courtyard below as shadows shifted and danced.
She fell silent as she caught sight of Caden.
He looked up just then, his gaze piercing. She held still, not withdrawing or trying to hide. She should do both. That would be the smart move, but she was tired of being smart—of being pragmatic.
What had either trait ever gotten her?
Sometimes it was good to step out of your comfort zone and let life simply breathe through you.
He took a step toward her and then another. Eva teetered on the edge of an abyss, caught between two decisions. Let the inevitable happen or stick to her safe and placid world?
Before she could decide, he disappeared from view. Minutes later there was a knock at her door. She opened it to find Caden lounging against the frame. His fleeting smile made her insides curl, setting her stomach to trembling.
Eva stepped aside, making room for Caden.
Now that the moment was here, nerves fluttered in her stomach.
Caden took in the small room, noting the narrow bed, the window seat Eva had occupied and the small blanket she had dragged over.
He didn't say anything, but Eva didn’t mind. Sometimes words got in the way of what was important.
This moment felt too fragile to fill with inane chatter.
The same isolation and loss she'd read on him after the fight with the wood people still lingered. His back curved, the weight of the day crushing him as he faced the window.
This time it was her turn to provide comfort against the torments his inner demons had brought. She came to stand by his side. He turned to her suddenly, his warm mouth covering hers. Lips softer and warmer than she would have thought moved against hers.
The kiss was sweet. Poignant. Until it wasn't. Until passion rose like an inexorable tide sweeping them up in its wake.
Every frustration, every missed opportunity came to bear. The fire she'd felt from him in the courtyard and the mist came back.
"Be sure," he whispered against her lips.
She wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him down to her. "I am."
They didn't do much talking after that. Their hands explored each other in the silvery moonlight. This was different than the last and only time she'd done this. It wasn't heated fumbling followed by a quick coupling that left her strangely unsatisfied.
Tingles trailed in the wake of his touch. There was heat, but it wasn’t preceded by quick, unsure fumbling. Caden was precise, as focused now as he was when he wielded his sword.
Eva panted at being the focus of all that intensity. It made her feel powerful. Wanted. Needed. It was an aphrodisiac to someone who'd rarely felt any of that.
Tomorrow they might revert to being uneasy allies, but for now, for this moment in time, she was the center of his world, as he was hers.
