“I’ve never been a big fan of that eye.” Some of the pain I felt radiated in my voice.
Liam didn’t take his eyes off my face. “See to the sorcerer. Make sure he doesn’t try anything.”
Nathan moved across the room, finally coming into view of my good eye. It was strange being unable to see much of the left side of the room.
I felt a thin thread of otherness touch me, gently probing where my eye should have been. It withdrew as gently as it came.
“This is why we don’t make deals with sorcerers,” Liam told me.
“I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”
“When’s the last time you fed?” Liam asked me.
“This morning.” I thought about it. Caroline’s call had woken me up. “Wait, no. It was last night. About two hours before sunrise.”
Once I’d heard the break in I had rushed out of the house without bothering to fill up.
“You need blood.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said. I knew I wouldn’t be. I was still woozy, probably from blood loss coupled with hunger and pain.
“You won’t. Your body is already showing signs of a deficit. It could throw you into a feeding frenzy.”
His hold tightened on my neck. He drew me a step closer until I was pressed against him.
“What are you doing? This is hardly the time for any hanky-panky.”
His chuckle sounded warm in my ears, totally at odds with the situation. “You need to feed. I’m the best source at the moment, though I’ll take note of your desire for ‘hanky-panky’ at a later date.”
I gave him the best glare I could with only one eye and my face a giant, throbbing mass of pain.
He didn’t seem that impressed.
“What about the sorcerer?”
He shrugged. “Only if you want to drain him dry and chance killing him.”
“Only because you got to him first,” I accused.
“It wouldn’t be a good idea drinking from him anyway. It’ll only strengthen your mark.”
“I don’t want to,” I said, leaning my head against his chest. The room was spinning and had gained a slight red tinge. I felt as weak as a kitten, and my fangs ached with the urge to bite something. Anything.
“Why?”
Because it’ll make me a monster. I didn’t say that out loud.
He seemed to guess at my silent thoughts. “When you were in the military, would you have hesitated to use a weapon placed in your hand to defend yourself and others?”
“That’s different.”
“Why?” His voice reflected no judgement, only security.
It was hard to put into words. “It wasn’t about me, or not only about me. If I failed to defend myself, I left the person standing next to me vulnerable to the same fate. It was about the people back home, and what I stood for just as much as it was preserving my life.”
“It is the same today. We use the tools granted to us to do the job we’ve chosen. Whether that’s a gun or your fangs. You’re a vampire. Not drinking blood from a neck makes you no less of a vampire. By not accepting this, you place everyone around you in danger. Starting with your friend, Caroline.”
I sighed. I thought I’d accepted what I was, learned to live with it and overcome any obstacles. It was more difficult than I thought to achieve that inner acceptance. It was a series of choices, not just one. This was just another hill I had to climb.
