Eventually, it got easier. She started to feel again. She reclaimed the tiny bits of herself she'd lost. It hadn't been easy, but she'd never stopped pushing forward.
Being around Raider and Jace and the new Curs, she found herself asking if she'd done the right thing. Maybe there had been a way for both sides of her to survive.
She didn't know.
The Phoenix had been glaringly bright, a shining beacon whose light attracted everyone to her until it flickered and went out.
Kira knew the Phoenix was her, but some days she couldn't even remember what it felt like to be that person.
"She's not dead, you know," Jin said. "I've seen echoes of her through the years. Here, I've seen more of her than I have in a long time."
Kira didn't move, turning his words over before tucking them away for consideration at another time.
"Tell me what you found," she said.
"The Curs are safe. Angry, but unharmed," he said. "Raider was talking about staging a breakout. Jace talked him out of it."
"Where does he think he'll go?" Kira asked. "It's not like the Tuann will let them take one of their ships."
"It seems your commander was right. There is a ship waiting outside Tuann space. I suppose Raider thinks a drop ship might be capable of slipping through the defense net."
Not unless the Consortium had extremely advanced technology Kira didn't know about. A waveboard might work, but you could only carry one person at a time on those and there'd be no way to get enough waveboards to the surface of the planet without risking detection.
"Anything else?" Kira asked, knowing there was more.
"The Nexus is the one place in the Citadel with the starmaps."
"Can we get in?"
"It'll be difficult."
"But not impossible?"
He hesitated. "I'm not sure the risk would be worth the reward."
Kira nodded. She understood his reservations. If she were caught trying to infiltrate that area, or worse, stealing the data inside, she would likely be treated as a traitor. Any protection that came from being one of their lost children would disappear. They'd take it as evidence of human subterfuge and likely kill the rest before ending the alliance.
No pressure or anything.
Her head tilted as she squeezed the railing in front of her. She'd waited too long to give up now. Those starmaps could be the answer to everything.
"I'll be careful," she promised.
Jin was quiet, his silence carrying weight to it. "Perhaps it's time to let this go. It's been long enough."
"No, I won't do that," Kira said forcefully. "I can't. You know why."
Jin's sigh was sad. "You know they wouldn't want this. They'd want you to move on with your life."
"Maybe, but I can't give up," Kira said. "Just like you wouldn’t if the situation was reversed."
Jin made a soft sound.
"What about Tsavitee presence?" Kira asked.
His silence this time was filled with stubbornness, but eventually he gave in. He'd try again at a more opportune time, Kira knew. Her friend had her best interests at heart. It was too bad she couldn't listen.
"You were right. Signs of their influence are all over the place if you know where to look."
