We let each other go, neither commenting on how the other was discretely swiping tears out of their eyes.
“Can I see her?” I asked, hesitantly. There was every chance Jenna wouldn’t want me around Linda, even after the apparent welcome she’d given me. It would hurt but I was prepared to accept whatever decision she made.
“Of course,” Jenna said, stepping to the side.“The doctor said only two at a time. Really, he wanted mom and dad to leave hours ago, but they refused, so we’ve been taking turns.”
Liam touched my arm.“I’ll wait here.”
I clasped his hand gratefully, letting him see my gratitude. I was on borrowed time. It had taken half an hour to get here and then another twenty minutes just to find Jenna and Linda. The sun was already edging its way above the horizon. If it hadn’t been for his blood, I would be minutes away from collapsing.
“I won’t be long,” I told him.
He nodded, his face unconcerned, his gaze soft.
I followed Jenna into the room, the smell of the hospital making me slightly queasy. Why was it that every hospitalI’d ever visited smelled the same? Like puke and antiseptic, sickness and death. I didn’t care what cleaning products they used, it was always the same.
I hated that Linda was here. Hated she had to smell this air, that it would linger long after she was out of here.
Her room was private at least, with a window overlooking the parking garage and a chair in the corner. A book on the table told me that was where Jenna had been before my confrontation with our mother had pulled her out of here.
The bed was the last object I took in, reluctant to see my niece so small and frail, hooked up to monitors that beeped incessantly.
This wasn’t the first hospital roomI’d ever visited. I had more friends than I cared to think about who’d had stints in places like this. Most had survived, some had not.
Somehow this time, it hurt worse.
My feet took me over to Linda, but still, I hesitated to touch her. Her skin was pale with bruises around her eyes, her hair limp around her face.
“What happened?” I asked, reaching out to touch the top of Linda’s hand.
She didn’t stir, remaining locked in slumber, for which I was grateful. She didn’t need to see the fear on our faces or hear the desperation we were feeling. She deserved all things sunny and beautiful, not this sterile place that smelled like death.
Jenna shook her head, her arms folded in front of her as if holding herself tightly might keep her from falling apart.“The doctors don’t know. They said she’ll need all sorts of tests before they can tell us anything.”
Her gaze darted to Linda and back before she blurted,“I don’t know howI’m going to pay for everything. My insurance isn’t going to cover all this.”
“I thought your job had good benefits,” I said.
Jenna worked at a law firm. It had been one of the many things my mom had thrown in my face when she’d been harping on my lack of direction.
Jenna shook her head.“I don’t work there anymore. I took a new position with a startup. It has great pay and vacation, but the medical and retirement benefits are nowhere near as good as my last job.”
I hadn’t known she’d changed jobs. Just another way I had lost touch.
“We’ll figure it out,” I told her.
I didn’t have a lot of money, but what I had,I’d give her. This job with Liam would help.
Jenna nodded, though she didn’t look particularly convinced. It was hard to blame her. She knew I didn’t make much.
“There was no sign that she was sick?” I asked.
“Not that I saw,” Jenna said, her voice rising. For the first time anger threading through it.“I would have taken her to the doctor if there was.”
“I know you would have,” I said soothingly.
Jenna was a good mom. If Linda had so much as a sniffle it was off to the clinic or an urgent care. Before this, I would have said she was a little too neurotic about it. Now, Jenna would no doubt be kicking herself over supposed missed signs.
I’d had to ask though.
