“It’s a credit to you that you reacted that way. Other men would have been too insecure to keep a friendship.”
My eyebrows pull together. “Are people really that stupid?”
“Oh, yes,” Giles says. “I’ve lost so-called mates over being queer.”
My eyes widen. “Really?”
“Yep,” he says and then looks down at his glass. “Shall we get another one?”
“I’ll get it!” I start to get up.
“Great, but if you don’t mind, I’ll go with a sparkling water this round.” Giles’ hand reaches out and grabs my arm. It’s a very innocent touch, a simple hold to get my attention, but my eyes dart straight to where his fingers wrap around my elbow.
“I’ll do the same, Can't have more than one on my meds,” I say and I wait for him to let me go, but he doesn’t, not until I take my eyes away from his hand and meet his. He offers me a small smile and I feel the same electric charge I felt earlier.
Oh, fuck. Not again.
And then I walk to the bar to get us both what I have to tell myself yet again isjust a drink.
When I return, I set the drinks down at our table with a new sense of purpose. My attraction, or my possible attraction or my confusion about possible attraction to Giles, is not going anywhere. I may as well explore it and see if I really am imagining these electric moments between us. I may as well figure out if I am queer… or just having a very inconvenient and out-there mid-life crisis. I mean, I know I don’t have the budget for a Ferrari but I would have been perfectly happy with a busty blonde half my age.
But instead, there’s Giles.
Giles who is thanking me for his sparkling water as I sit down.
“Giles, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” He straightens up, one of his hands coming to his shirt and undoes another button. Which doesn’t… help. I look away.
“How did you know you were pansexual?”
I see the shock of my question wash over Giles but he’s quick to gain control of it. “Err,” he shifts forward, his elbows resting on the top of his thighs, “I honestly can’t remember there being a big aha moment. I just sort of knew I wasn’t only attracted to women.”
“Really? Like all the time? You just started to fool around with boys at the same time you were kissing girls?”
Giles pulls his lips into his mouth and his eyes go to the ceiling for a moment. “Hmm, we may need to rewind a bit.”
“Okay,” I say and I’m suddenly desperate for whatever he’s about to say.
“Remember what I said about not having many friends and being a bit socially awkward?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, that definitely extended to affairs of the heart too.”
“Affairs of the heart? I didn’t realise you lived in a historical romance novel,” I tease.
“Why not? I’m practically dressed like I do!”
“Go on,” I prompt after we chuckle together again.
“So, yeah, I didn’t exactly get much action from any gender until I went to university. There I had a few girlfriends and lost my virginity and that was all very lovely.”
“Sounds lovely.” I smirk as I lift my glass to my mouth.
“Indeed.” Giles nods. “But there was this guy on my rugby team. He had the most incredible hamstrings.”
I cough as I take a drink. “I’m sorry, what?” I splutter.
