So, yes, Kris was also right that I have to tell him. I have to apologise for not being honest earlier. I have to find out if maybe, maybe Giles feels the same. Because I may not be an expert in queer sex but I feel like there are hints that Giles does find me attractive. Especially right now when he starts fucking himself on my fingers.
“Yes, Giles, ride my hand,” I encourage him as I reach for a condom.
It’s only then that I realise I’m still fully dressed, and suddenly, violently, I don’t want to be. I want my clothes off and I want my skin on his skin.
Withdrawing my fingers so I can throw off my T-shirt and shorts, I hear Giles moan as I leave him empty.
“It’s okay, I’ll be back in a second, baby,” I soothe him. “Just want to get naked. Want to feel you everywhere.”
I feel a little brazen saying something like that, but Giles should consider it a preview of what I’m going to say later. Now I’ve made my mind up to do it, I care a lot less about what I do and don’t say to him.
“Please, Marcello.” Giles whimpers and looks over his shoulder at me. I see his other arm is moving. He’s stroking himself.
The thought of him being hard for me again so soon has me pushing my clothes off in a manic fashion, and jumping back onto the bed as quickly as I can. I press the front of my thighs up against the back of his impossibly defined hamstrings, and I squeeze more lube onto my hand.
When my fingers slide back into him, I want to tell him that this feels like coming home. But that would be ridiculous. Nobody has ever referred to somebody else’s arsehole as their home. At least nobody in their right mind.
“Just fuck me already.” Giles arches his back, his head falling lower towards the pillow as he goes down onto his elbows.
“I will,” I say, picking up the condom again with my spare hand. “How do you want it today, baby?”
His arms starts to move again. “I want it hard and rough. I want you to make me feel you long after this is over. I want to hurt when I sit down all week.”
It’s not what I expect. Especially not after calling him baby. But it’s not the wrong response. Far from it.
I can fuck him hard. I can make him feel me.
I am quick putting the condom on and applying lube to it, as well as more to Giles’ hole. He continues to whimper and moan as I touch him there and I have the urge to put my mouth back on the little pink knot of muscle there, so I do.
I kiss him. I flick my tongue over him. I taste the flat chemical flavours of the lube, but there’s still something else. Something both musky and fresh.Giles.
“I can’t… please… Marcello… fuck me!” he splutters, his hips rocking back and forth against my mouth.
I could listen to him beg all day and all night, but when I pull back and see him all slick and wet for me, his strong back arched and his round glutes primed for grabbing, I know I can’t wait any longer either.
“Hold tight, baby,” I tell him. “I’m going to take you hard and fast, but I know you can take it.”
And he does. As I push in steadily, feeling the resistance, becoming clamped by his walls, I hear how it halts his breath and makes his whole body tense. It does exactly the same thing to me. But then I relax.Completely relax. I feel his grip on me, and it grounds me to something, somewhere I never thought I’d find in my life. A purpose, a place where I am wanted, a sense of knowing I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
All of a sudden, I don’t want to fuck him hard and fast. I want to take it slow. I want to make love to this beautiful man.
“Are you okay?” I ask him.
“Yeah,” he sighs, “I’m just waiting for you to fuck me hard and fast like you promised.”
I laugh shyly, which is ridiculous when I’m balls deep inside Giles. “I think I’ve changed my mind.”
“Oh?” Giles turns his head over his shoulder.
“I think I want…” I could say it. I could say those words. But then maybe I would break the spell. Maybe I would pull us both out of this moment. And that’s the very last thing I want to do. “I think I want you to ride me.”
Yes, that’s it. If I give him control then it’s out of my hands. Giles will set the pace. Giles will decide the tone of our… intimacy. And I can watch his perfect body move above me.
“Would you mind?” I ask when Giles hasn’t said anything.
“Yeah,” he says slowly. “I can do that.”
As soon as we change positions – me on my back and Giles straddling my hips – I realise my mistake. This is not going to bury any feelings like I am making love to Giles. It’s only going to cement them and then build a skyscraper on top of those foundations. Because Giles has never looked better as he lifts up, finds my dick with one hand and then pushes it inside himself.
