A desire to connect with the world instead of living in a gilded tower above it.
And now I’m a thousand miles from New York, and between sleeping all day yesterday and being pissed all day today, I haven’t experienced this trip the way I should at all.
I haven’t given away more than a few thousand dollars of the millions I intended to leave in my wake.
I’m failing.
I’m failingmyself.
I stay outside, leaning against my car, watching the leaves shimmer with the waning sunlight as they rustle in the evening breeze, until everything’s dusky-dark.
When I reenter the cabin, Daphne’s curled up under the quilt, one hand tucked under her chin and clutching the fabric at the same time, as if she’s afraid I’ll try to take it from her.
I stifle a sigh and open up my suitcase, realizing I either need to do laundry soon or buy more clothes.
More clothes that fit as well as these that Daphne helped me pick.
Because she knew.
She knew the wardrobe I left behind consisted of tailor-made clothes and that I couldn’t tell you my own size.
I can run away from my life, but I can’t run away from myself, and I need some degree of organization.
Especially if we can make that large of a mess in the car in only three days.
Daphne doesn’t move as I get myself ready for bed.
She’s breathing so softly I almost can’t hear it, and I don’t know if she’s asleep or if she’s faking it, but I know I can’t go another day like today.
Today sucked.
And tomorrow’s supposed to be the day that we negotiate how she’s leaving while also keeping my secret.
I have to talk her into riding along with me for another week instead of putting her on a plane back to…wherever she lives now.
So tomorrow, I have to apologize to her.
But not only for my sake.
For hers too.
Quiet, injured Daphne isn’t right.
She might’ve annoyed me when I dated her sister, and she might be pushing and poking me on purpose now, but sheisfun.
I took that from her today as well.
Tomorrow—tomorrow, I truly will be a new man.
Tomorrow, I’ll be the man that Iwantto be.
14
IS IT A DONUT, OR IS IT POISON DRESSED UP LIKE A DONUT?
Daphne
I sleep like absolute shit,but I clearlydosleep, because when I wake up, Oliver’s making coffee and there’s a fresh box of donuts on the counter.
