That I’ve been terrified to embrace for fear that they’d be taken away again.
And with a woman I’m falling harder and harder for every day sitting beside me, soothing my soul with her easy acceptance of all of my quirks and flaws and enticing my body with her actions.
While Griff tells more of the story of his tattoo after the pizza and my salad have arrived, Bea drags a finger along my upper leg, getting very close to my inner thigh.
While Daphne and Lana have their own animated conversation at the other end of the table, Bea brushes her foot against mine.
While Hudson tells a story about Ryker’s goats, I intermingle my fingers with hers and draw hearts on her palm with my thumb.
Yes, yes, I’m that far gone.
I should be very concerned for myself, but I rather suspect I’ll bugger this up soon enough.
Which is a thought that has my blood running cold.
I don’t want to bugger up anything with Bea.
She’s funny. She’s sexy. She treats me as though I’m a normal human being. She spots my boys trading one ofthoselooks before Lana or I do, and with one lift of her eyebrows, they both sink back into their respective seats and quietly grab another slice of pizza, but she also smiles at them and engages with them as the individual human beings that they are.
Bea has given me an opportunity to exist inside a bubble where family are tight and care about one another, even as they argue and tease each other, but ultimately are all watching out for one another. And with Daphne and Lana and myself and the boys joining them—it’s the kind of family that grows without traditional boundaries.
The kind of family I never had.
Siblings. Inside jokes. Laughter. Love. Acceptance.
Their parents clearly did something right, and the injustice that two good parents have left this mortal plane while mine remain hits me square in the chest again.
Will my boys be this tight?
Are Lana and I doing anything right enough to give them a true sense of family?
Lana is, of course, my family as well, but she’s rather stuck with me because of the boys, whereas with Bea?—
With Bea, I feel as though she’s choosing me.
When she has so many reasons that choosing me would not be in her best interest.
“You okay?” she murmurs to me.
I shake my head as I realize everyone else at the table is laughing at something while I’mnotsmiling. “Quite all right, thank you.”
She watches me. “I’ve never seen you this quiet.”
I squeeze her hand. “Merely admiring how well your family get along. I rather doubt another person could have done whatyou’ve done for your brothers and still liked them in the end. I certainly couldn’t have. But you—you are a wonder, Beatrice Best. A wonder who holds your whole family together, blood relations and not, and I suspect you’ve no idea how attractive that is.”
She blinks quickly, but not quickly enough for me to miss the way her eyes mist over. “I forget sometimes that I shouldn’t take them for granted.”
“You absolutely should not. Though you should give yourself credit as well.”
“I did what I had to.”
“At great personal cost to yourself. And I’m happy to see your brothers seem to recognize it.”
She glances at them, Hudson laughing so hard that he’s nearly choking, Griff smiling mischievously, Ryker smiling as well, more reserved, but still smiling.
“Worth it,” she says softly, that lovely glow once again coming into her eyes.
How could a person see the way she loves her family and not want to be a part of her life?
