“I hate that I sometimes question what I could’ve done to make him love me more when it feels so obvious now that he’s just a user, and when I know I shouldn’t ever have to beg anyone for their love, but I definitely see the whole family differently now than I did before. And now I’m mad that so many people around town still love them when I logically get it—they do a lot of good in the community, which reminds me of my parents too—but he hurt me.Theyhurt me. And now they’re telling everyone I’m the problem.”
“If it helps, nearly everyone here that I’ve ever heard talk about you seems to love you too.”
“Not enough to pick my burgers over his,” I mutter. “The asshole’s servingbester burgersat JC Fig for lunch today.”
“Classic Camille family warfare. You only notice the poke if it’s aimed at you, and otherwise, it looks like an innocent accident. Thoughbester burgersis pretty direct.”
“It is. And the reason everyone loves me is because they think it’s amazing that I left college to take care of my brothers. I could blow up a car on Main Street and kidnap everyone’s puppies and they’d say it was because of the psychological trauma of losing my parents. They’d avoid me for it, but they’d make excuses for me too. Those people who think I’m great? Very few of them have gotten to knowme. Don’t get me wrong—I’m grateful for all of the support we’ve had the past ten years, but?—”
I stop myself and shake my head.
“But your entire identity to the town is caretaker, and not person,” she says softly.
“Yes.” I give her a wry smile. “Everyone asks about your mom first now, don’t they?”
“Or the boys. Or something about Simon.” She shrugs and lifts her last bite of burger. “It’s the box we get put in.”
Pretty sure bywe, she meanswomen.
“What’s your favorite TV show?” I ask. Because it’s not about caretaking. It’s about making friends.
“Promise not to tell a soul?”
“My lips are sealed.”
“I watchPanda Banandawhen I have five minutes.”
“The kid show?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“You watch it too?”
I shake my head. “My brothers were past cartoons when I moved home. But—a kid show? When you could watch anything? Really?”
“You know the main panda? Jonas Rutherford does his voice. And one cannot grow up in Athena’s Rest?—”
“Without having a crush on one of the Rutherford brothers,” I finish for her with a smile.
The Rutherford family owns the Razzle Dazzle TV movie empire. It’s headquartered in Albany, which is close enough that one of them used to occasionally roll through town and cause a massive stir.
“Which one was your crush?” Lana asks me.
“Jonas all the way,” I answer without hesitation. There are two Rutherford brothers, but only Jonas went into acting. His older brother is way more reclusive, and the people I know who say they’d pick him also say it’s because they like the mystery of him. Not that it matters. They’re both married with kids andnot in Albany often anymore. “I fell asleep to the Razzle Dazzle channel nearly every night the first three years after my parents died.”
“Simon’s had small roles in a couple of their TV movies and says they’re all super nice.”
“Would he say any different?”
“No.”
“Didn’t think so.”
“Two seconds. This order’s done.” I settle the burger on its bun, top it with the lettuce and tomato from Ryker’s farm, grab a handful of fries, and pass it out the window.
“You’re being so screwed by the Camilles and what they’re saying behind your back to anyone who will listen,” my customer tells me. “Jake fucked up a real estate deal for me once, and it opened my eyes. I was the same as you before. Thought they were great. I hope Simon takes them down for you.”
