Not my business.
But what’s he doing here?
Hudson shifts on the couch, making it squeak. “That’s either the slingshot of death or the slingshot that’ll help you hunt for birds to eat.”
“Croaking Creatures?” I ask as I settle into the easy chair beside the couch.
Simon glances at me, does a double take, and then smiles. “Hello, Bea. You look lovely.”
My entire body flushes. “Funny. You look like a guy who ran away from a good time.”
Hudson’s back to being the protective brother. He scowls at Simon. “Quit looking at my sister like—oh, shit! Look at this. They just added Doc Rover’s evil twin and a flying squid of death.”
“Death by flying squid,” Simon muses. “How fascinating.”
“It inks your eyes out.”
“And that’s…good?”
“You want your creatures to not die, but also you get more points when you do die in more horrific ways.”
“I’m a tad confused.”
“Sometimes I think parental confusion is the entire point of half of what they do,” I say.
Simon beams at me. “I said that exact thing to Butch not thirty minutes ago when my boys were arguing with each otherover a pinball machine until I intervened, at which point they teamed up on me.”
“You teach them to ask about a woman’s sex life?” Hudson asks.
Simon sits straighter. “Of course not. I’m teaching them to be respectful, and didn’t realize that was an area that needed attention.”
“Lighten up,” I tell Hudson. “Or else I’ll tell the story about you and your buddies and the school trip where you all?—”
“Okay, okay,” he grumbles. “Fine. Thirteen-year-old boys are boundary-pushers. Especially when there are more than one, and especially when their parent dates.”
“I know you’re not blaming me for what you did at Joey’s house when I wasnotdating his dad.”
“Youwereon a dating app. And so was he. And you matched.”
“And I’m your sister, not your mom, and I most definitely didnotaccept his invitation toanything.”
“Oh, dear, that looks like it hurts.” Simon points to something on Hudson’s phone. “Is the arrow supposed to stick out like that?”
“Yeah, and if it’s a?—”
Simon sways back and away from Hudson, clearly horrified.
“Bomb arrow!” Hudson crows. “If I’d been holding a kitten of death at the same time, it’d be quadruple points.”
“I worry so much about the youth these days,” Simon murmurs.
“You’ve got two chances to do better than Bea did.”
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” I ask my brother.
“Yep. Right here on this couch. I worked hard today. Even harder than my boss. She took a couple hours off.”
“She also gave you money for new shoes that you haven’t gone out and bought yourself yet.”
