“Because you and I have a mutual ex who broke into my house and trashed it probably as part of his hunt for a treasure that doesn’t exist, and your brother feels a sense of responsibility about it. What’s his name? Our mutual ex, I mean. Not your brother. We both knowhisname.”
There’s a long stretch of silence on the other end of the phone.
“Oh my godagain. Are you looking it up? Are you texting Davis for the answer? This isn’t really Vanessa, is it?”
“Tell him I’m smiling.”
“Why? Do you smile as rarely as he does?”
Davis slides a look at me, then lifts a middle finger.
The woman on the other end of the phone cracks up. “He’s flipping me off, isn’t he?”
“He’s flipping one of us off.”
Vanessa cackles again.
“Why do you sound so gleeful about that? What thefuckis going on? I know this isn’t just the tequila.”
“Patrick Dixon,” she says. “Our mutual ex is Patrick Dixon. And he wants Thorny Rock’s treasure because he thinks it’s going to destroy our family when he finds it.”
“It’s been—” I pause and count on my fingers, staring at the ceiling, where there’s a butterfly-shaped crack in whatever material makes up the ceiling of a camper trailer, which is weirdly pretty.
When I get cracks in my plaster, it’s always in the shape of a penis.
I have crack envy.
Wait.
Focus.
“Six years,” I finish. “It’s been six and a half years since I dumped him, which means it’s been six—no, almost seven years since he cheated on Ellie with me, which means, ifsomeoneis telling me the truth, it’s been at least eight years since he dated you. So whynow? Why does he carenow?”
“Put me on speaker.”
I fumble with my phone and put maybe-Vanessa on speaker. My cat doesn’t help.
The tequila doesn’t either.
“Did that work?” I ask.
“Yes,” she says, her voice echoing through the kitchen as the first bits of popcorn start to pop in the skillet.
“Good. Sometimes I hang up on people when I’m drinking.”
“Davis?” she says.
“Yep,” he replies.
“Show her the family tree.”
“No.”
“If you don’t, I will.”
“You were here this morning. You’re not coming back for at least another month.”
“I have her number,” Vanessa replies.
