He’s smart there, at least.
And I don’t think he did this. I just want him to think I think he did this.
Don’t be a dick, I tell myself.
And then I tell myself to fuck off.
I’ll be whatever Sloane needs me to be.
“Now, gentlemen.” Chester shoots a quick look at me before focusing on Nigel again. “Crime can make tempers run high, but we’re all on the same team here.”
Sloane snorts softly.
So does her cat.
“We arenoton the same team,” Nigel says.
“Who’s that now?” Mrs. Kapinski calls from next door. “Is that that hottie who crashed Cooper’s wedding?”
Sloane sighs.
The cat meows loudly.
And Nigel puffs his chest up. “I was blessed by God, ma’am.”
“In all the ways?” she calls back. “How big is your penis?”
He visibly chokes. “Excuse you, ma’am?—”
“Welp, that’s disappointing. If you’re not willing to answer the question, we know what that means.”
“Sloane, this town?—”
“Is my home,” she says quietly.
“Davis, how’s your penis?” Mrs. Kapinski calls.
Do not answer. Do not answer. Do not—“Formally classified as a biological weapon, ma’am.”
Silence falls over the street.
Silence except for a very small squeak coming from Sloane’s direction, and the sound of quick footsteps rushing toward us on the street.
“Mrs. Kapinski, the tabloid rules are still firmly in effect, and I will quadruple your punishment if you leak that to the press,” Tillie Jean says. “Go back inside. All of you. Chester, what’s going on? Where’s the crime scene tape? Why haven’t you put that up yet? Excuse me, sir, you need to be at least fifty feet from the house.”
Nigel glares at Tillie Jean.
“Wouldn’t challenge her if I were you,” I murmur.
“Shut your fucking face,” Nigel snaps back.
“You sure you’re a man of God?”
Remarkable how little it takes to make someone’s temper blow.
Good thing Chester’s apparently well-trained too because the minute Nigel swings at me, Chester’s in motion.
I let the two of them tussle it out while I back up and hold out a hand to Sloane. “We should also get away from the crime scene.”
