Sheriff will be notified.
I barely verify the alarm panel is flashing with the silent alarm as I burst inside.
After that, I follow the noise.
The light in the bedroom.
“Grandma? What the actual fuck are you doing?”
And that stops me almost as effectively as the cat stepping into my path.
“I’m doing what I should’ve done years ago, and I’m taking you home,” a familiar-ish voice replies. Granny Gaslighter. That’s who it is. Standing there in Sloane’s bedroom doorway. “Nigel. Pick her up. It’s time.”
“Get the fuck out of my bedroom.”
Someone moans.
There’s a large figure bent double, groaning.
Sloane’s largest dildo is on the floor next to him.
Peggy meows at me.
I slow and bend to pick her up. Not sure I shut the front door. Don’t want to let the cat out.
“Put those things down and get off the bed,” Granny Gaslighter says. “Nigel, stand up andgo get her.”
Nigel’s panting. “She’ll come—willingly, Bernice. We—don’t need—to kidnap—her.”
“That’s exactly what we need to do. Listen to her language. And look at those—things—she’s holding. She needs to come home and find her soul again.”
I suck air in, willing my heart to quit beating quite so fast, and I silently creep the rest of the way down the short hallway to the bedroom.
One word—one look—one signal of any kind—and I will set the cat down and take both of these motherfuckers out.
Gently with Grandma.
Less so with Nigel.
Though, clearly, Sloane’s already half taken him out herself.
That’s my girl.
I spot her standing on her bed wearing nothing but a Shipwreck Pirate Festival T-shirt and tiny pink panties, holding dildos in each hand. “Mylanguage? Do you know how bad Nigel’s language is? And you never correct him for it? I amso sickof your hypocrisy. Also—I. Am. Not. Going. With. You.”
Her grandmother sniffs. “Nonsense. Get dressed and throw those obscene objects away. We’re leaving.”
“I’m. Getting. Married. Today.”
“Over my dead body.”
“Well, you’re fucking old, so that might happen,” Sloane snaps.
I suck in a smile as her eyes meet mine.
Her shoulders dip.
Her grip on the dildos wavers.
