He settles his large hand over her back and strokes her, then does it again, until she’s running the show, telling him exactly where to pet her. She sprawls out, lying down between us but still closer to him so she can arch her head into his hand and do that thing where she stretches out her one front paw like she’s kneading biscuits.
I wonder if cats experience phantom limbs like humans do. Does she feel like she has both front paws right now?
The light’s still on in the kitchen area, filtering in here through the open door.
“Do you always sleep with the lights on?” I whisper to Davis.
“No.”
“Do you want me to?—”
“No.”
“Is that for my sake?”
“Yes.”
“If you’d rather it was dark?—”
“I can sleep anywhere. It’s fine. Can you sleep?”
I suck in a breath through my nose and look at the man who’s still so full of secrets, but who’s starting to make sense.
He’s not telling me he loves me.
He’s not telling me we’re in this together.
He’s just saying he’ll pretend to be my fiancé because he’s done it before and it doesn’t mean anything, and he’s giving me a place to stay tonight that’s safe.
I’m a mess.
But I’m not alone.
And for tonight—forright now—that’s enough.
“I think I can sleep,” I whisper.
“Good.”
“Thank you.”
He watches me watching him while he pets my cat.
And then he pulls in a long, quiet breath. “You may not ever be in my close circle, but you can trust that I mean you no harm. I’ve hurt enough people in my life already. Don’t want to do it again. You truly are safe here.”
My eyes sting.
I squeeze them closed so he won’t see, and I lie there, feeling my own heartbeat, listening to his slow, rhythmic breaths that don’t mean he’s sleeping but are still a little hypnotic, and I wonder if either of us will sleep tonight.
15
Davis
I waituntil Sloane’s breathing has settled into a steady rhythm, and then I sneak out of the bed.
Fire’s still going outside.
Need to put it out.
