Ziggy:Speaking of limericks, I heard there used to be a player on the Thrusters who trash-talked in haiku. Do you lacrosse players ever do stuff with the hockey guys? Is that true?
Holt:Sometimes and yes
Ziggy:Do you have any habits when you’re on the field?
Holt:The pitch
Ziggy: You pitch on the field?
Holt:Never mind
Ziggy:OH. It’s a lacrosse PITCH. I get it now.
Holt:*thumbs up emoji*
Ziggy, another four days later:It just occurred to me that you’re paying my electric and water and gas bills while I’m staying here. Can I help with those?
Holt:No
Ziggy:You’re not here using them.
Holt:Don’t care
Ziggy:Is this like the same thing where the plumber dropped off apie that he said you bought from his kid’s baseball team fundraiser? Am I another fundraiser?
Holt:No
Ziggy:That’s comforting. Thanks for the talk. Let me know if you change your mind about letting me pay for utilities.
Ziggy, two days after that:The plumber had an unexpected opening and can start tomorrow, but the new bathtub isn’t arriving until next week. There’s a possibility they could do rush shipping, but it would cost $$$. I told them both to stick to the original schedule unless they hear back from you otherwise in the next six hours.
Holt:Ok
Ziggy:Also, the white flower neighbor lady apparently told the Range Rover lady that I’m your cousin and that I make bad jokes. When I’m eighty-three, I want to drive a Range Rover too. She looks badass.
Holt:Ok
Ziggy:*picture of Jessica wearing a necklace made of white flowers* And Jessica is doing well. She likes wearing sunglasses.
Holt:Ok
Ziggy, one day later:Someone named Red dropped off a lasagna last night. They apologized for taking ten months to bring it by and said the next time one of your family members dies, they’ll try tonot be awkward about it and take too long. They also asked me to not tell you that part, but I remember when my grandma died (way different, I know, it’s just the only experience I remember with death, since I was three when my dad died) and how I just wanted people to quit whispering about it without talking to me about it straight to my face. But also, death is really hard. And Red cares.
Holt:I don’t know a Red
Ziggy:Seriously?
Holt:Seriously
Ziggy:I thought maybe he said Fred, but the card says Red. *picture of a sympathy card very clearly signed RED*
Holt:Huh
Ziggy:Maybe he knew your brother?
Holt:Must be
Ziggy:Or else he knew someone else with the same name as your brother and got confused and my sister is now eating someone else’s grief lasagna. I gave it to her because it made my stomach revolt.
