I want this baby.
I do.
Even if this isn’t where I saw my life going immediately. It wasn’t in my plans so soon. But I’m choosing this.
Not because Abby Nora’s pregnant and I want what she has.
Not because my mother is thrilled to be a grandmother.
But becauseI want this.
This baby is the new start to my life after the most significant relationship I’ve ever had fell apart.
But why does it have to be so hard?
3
Holt
This isthe worst idea in the history of terrible ideas.
This is a fucking awesome idea, I can practically hear Caden reply.Got my popcorn and a beer. Let’s do this.
And that’s why I’m here.
Because since Caden died, I haven’t taken chances. I haven’t put myself out there. I haven’tlived.
Yes, I’ve played a successful season of rugby.
Yes, I’ve had fun with my teammates off the pitch.
But it’s been motions.
Notfeelings.
Today?
Today, I have some feelings.
I fucked up last night, and it got Ziggy Barnes fired.
I should’ve noticed faster that she wasn’t at her station. But I didn’t because I was feeling a little like a creeper for looking her way too often, so I made myself ignore her.
Wasn’t getting theyeah, you’re hot, I’m hot, let’s be hot togethervibes off of her, and I knew I needed to cool it.
But the minute I finally got a grip and quit staring,the incidenthappened, and I wasn’t there to stop it soon enough.
And afterthe incident, Brydie told me Ziggy’s been living in a hotel since returning to the States because living with her parents was, and I quote,not ideal.
Know a thing or two aboutnot idealparents myself.
See also, they’re both still alive, and they weren’t invited to Caden’s funeral, nor were they asked for help when he was sick.
I shake my head.
Not what I need to concentrate on now.
When I stopped in at the catering office this morning to turn in my gear and my uniform, I heard they’d fired Ziggy because of last night’s unexpected turn of events.
