I’ll have to come back another day to truly enjoy it though.
Tonight, the only magic I want is for my former BFF’s family to continue to either not recognize me or continue to pretend they don’t.
I manage to keep the chicken down most of the evening, but when I’m finally done explaining the final wine pairing of the evening to the guests, I bolt to the bathroom and let the chicken go.
You’d think this is when my evening would get better—when my stomach is no longer angry, when the guests are relaxed and full and slightly tipsy, when the security guy is on higher alert because of the alcohol consumed so that I can keep stealing surreptitious glances at his gorgeous face—but it is, in fact, the start of something even worse.
Because when I leave the bathroom, Eli Harrison is hanging out in the short hallway, blocking my exit.
Abby Nora’s brother-in-law.
He might not recognize me.
He might not have heard from Abby Nora about whatwent down at her baby shower several weeks ago, before I came home pregnant and homeless and jobless, which I sincerely hope she hasn’t heard yet.
Or he might not care.
Not only is he blocking my path back to the main event room, but now the man is trying to convince me to join his vitamin-selling pyramid scheme.
“If you talked about our vitamins the way you talk about wine, we’d be unstoppable,” he’s saying.
Seven years of working cruise ships in Europe, mostly on the Med, trained me for situations like this. Flat smile. Minimal eye contact. Call themsirorma’amor their chosen honorific if they provide it.
“I’m sorry, sir, I need to see to the other guests.”
“No, see, these vitamins will change your life,” the tall, bulky man says.
It seems unlikely that he recognizes me from Abby Nora’s wedding. Could be the wine.
Could be his “vitamins”.
No telling.
But I do know he shouldn’t need to sell vitamins. His family is in real estate, and if they don’t run at least half of the vacation rental homes in the city, they’re close. They’re here tonight for a community service awards banquet because of how well they do with their local empire.
I continue to smile with bland professionalism while my stomach rolls over. It’s been hard enough being home, moving in the same circles where I know I’m likely to run into Abby Nora and having to playthatgame where we both pretend we’re still friendly.
But tonight? Right now, with her brother-in-law trapping me outside the bathroom?
No matter how excited I am about my own pregnancy and the new opportunities here at home, I wish I were still in Europe. “I’m sure they’re wonderful. If you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to the bar.”
“These vitamins, they’re not like normal vitamins. They’re like vitamins that take vitamins to be better vitamins. Get it? Vitamins on vitamins.”
He chuckles at his own joke, making the melting ice in his rocks glass rattle as his hand shakes along with his chuckle.
“Drink service closes in fifteen minutes, sir, and I need to be available for all of the guests.” I angle to sneak around him, but he shifts once again, trapping me in the small hallway outside the bathrooms. While it’s not as dimly lit here as it is in the ocean room, it’s not as brightly lit as I’d prefer.
And we’re completely out of view of the other guests.
None of whom have needed to come down the hall to the bathroom.
This isn’t the first time I’ve had to extricate myself from a situation like this, and I don’t expect it’ll be the last.
The guest is always right. Don’t make a scene. Defuse with firm politeness.
When the guest is related to the woman I thought was my best friend until she told the attendees at her baby shower that I’m a selfish cunt who uses people, and when my stomach is knotting itself tighter at that memory bubbling to the surface over and over and over again all night, I wishfirm, polite professionalisminvolved a wee bit of violence.
Eli rubs a spot on his red cheek while he looks down at his rocks glass. The man’s more than a few glasses deep and his complexion shows it. “You know what? We should go into business. You and me. We’ll put my vitamins in yourwine and make ithealthy. Call itwinetamins. Heh. And you can be the face because pretty girls always sell things better.”
