I know I deserve better than to feel like my accomplishments have more worth than being used to make our family feel better than theirs.
But I should’ve seen how much stress it could put on our grandparents.
That they’re too set in their ways.
Victims of what they were fed their entire lives who didn’t have the resources to get over it the way my generation does.
“Itismy fault,” Amanda whispers.
“Not yours alone,” I reply quietly.
“Stop. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I rub my eyes.
We’ve officially—and very suddenly—broken up in the eyes of the town, our secret out there for everyone to know, and I don’t know where that leaves us personally.
I still like her. I still want to be here for her.
Especially now, when she keeps grabbing her ring finger like she wants to twist the engagement ring that’s no longer sitting on it.
The engagement ring she wore for show, and only for a few days.
But there’s no reason for me to do anything other than head back to the cabin to gather my dog and my luggage and fly home.
Clear my head.
Decide who I need to apologize to for the lies this week.
If I even deserve to think about how much I enjoyed this week with Amanda.
How much I still don’t want it to end.
“I think what you did was wonderful,” Lorelei says.
As one of Amanda’s oldest friends, she has more of a right to be here than I do. But we both followed along behind the ambulance and Kimberly’s car to come wait for news about Vicki.
“I don’t even care that I thought you were faking the whole thing and didn’t trust me enough to tell me why,” Lorelei adds. “I wanted it to be real. I thought if I treated you like it was real, I could manifest this being real.”
So did I, sis.
So did I.
And it could be ... but how?
Do we do what we claimed we did and date long distance?
Would she even want to?
And how inappropriate is it for me to sit here thinking about wanting her when we almost killed her grandmother?
I need fresh air. I need time and space to think. I need to recenter myself.
“You seemed so happy,” Kimberly says quietly. “I’ve never seen you so happy with a boy—a man—before.”
“I couldn’t have pulled this off with anyone else,” Amanda replies.
I want to look at her, but I can’t.
