Just shrugs instead. “Dunno. I’d like to be local as long as Paisley’s in college here. After that, suppose it’ll depend on what my life looks like then.”
“Think you’ll stay in hockey?”
“Maybe. Just as likely to be a real unemployed guy playing bars for fun though. Sometimes…sometimes I’m ready to slow down.”
I feel that.
Being a professional athlete—or coach—means long hours, lots of travel, beingonwhen you’re spotted in public. Sometimes the break between seasons isn’t enough.
Especially if you’re using it to get in better shape before the next season. Or showing up as the conditioning coach the guys want to work with in the offseason.
I’ve done that most winters, usually up in Shipwreck, Cooper’s hometown in the mountains just outside the city. It’s easy to relax there. The entire Rock family is genuinely kind, and the locals are used to having baseball players and sometimes bigger celebrities coming around.
“Just a break or a forever slow down?” I ask.
His green eyes land on me, and my stomach dips.
“Either,” he says. “Depends on what my life looks like then.”
Depends on if you want a lazy-ass retired hockey player in your life.
That’s what I hear.
Not that I’d ever call Duncanlazy-ass. Far from it. If he takes a break when he retires, he’s earned it.
But I can hear him calling himself that.
And I can see him washing dishes in his house. Studying cooking videos and whipping up ever-more-delicious masterpieces. Folding laundry. Getting a dog. Spending his evenings eating popcorn at Duggan Field or nachos at Mink Arena.
Dammit, why are my eyes getting hot?
“I don’t do long-term relationships,” I tell him, which shouldn’t be news to him. And if I’m reading this wrong, I’mcalling a ride and leaving all of the mortification of the past fifteen minutes behind me.
But Duncan takes the statement in stride, like he’s expecting me to go there. “Why?”
“That’s none of your business.”
He leans forward. “You ever talk to anyone about it?”
“Again, none of your business.”
“My sister’s first husband was the biggest dick in the history of dicks. They were high school sweethearts. Got married their final year of college when she got pregnant with Paisley. He started telling her she needed to lose weight faster after she gave birth. That since he made ten percent more than she did, it was her job to do the cooking, cleaning, shopping, bill-paying, laundry, taking sick days when the baby was sick…”
I flinch.
Cannot help myself.
Because that was my mom, but instead of one baby, she had five.
Duncan’s still watching me. “She left his worthless ass before Paisley was two, and she swore she was never dating again. It was easier being a single mom than it was depending on him for anything. Or taking care of two kids instead of one, since he was a big baby himself. And then Jordan happened.”
“Who’s Jordan?”
“He’s the guy who earned the privilege of being in her life by being a partner and not a leech. And I’ve never seen my sister happier.”
I reach for my tea and pretend to sip it.
“I know you like your life,” he says quietly. “I like my life. Doesn’t mean it can’t get better though. And you never know wherebetterwill come from when you quit standing in your own way.”
