CoachGoldie: Or maybe you’re older and wiser and see the world through a different perspective now than you did the last time you had an ex?
RugbyFletch: No. It’s you. You’re the difference.
CoachGoldie: I can see where that’s annoying.
RugbyFletch: So annoying.
CoachGoldie: Wanna know what’s annoying about you?
RugbyFletch: You’ve already made your feelings on my mustache very clear.
CoachGoldie: It’s annoying to me that you’re not the judgmental asshole I thought you were six years ago.
RugbyFletch: I’m a massive judgmental asshole.
CoachGoldie: Judgmental assholes are rarely self-aware enough to call themselves judgmental assholes.
RugbyFletch: Always knew I was one in a billion.
CoachGoldie: Can confirm. You are definitely one in a billion. Are you and your dad having a snowstorm party?
RugbyFletch: Dropped him at the airport a couple hours ago.
CoachGoldie: That’s why you left the game.
RugbyFletch: That’s why I left the game.
CoachGoldie: All okay there?
RugbyFletch: Know my way around Copper Valley pretty well now. Wasn’t hard to leave Reynolds Park, get to his hotel, and get to the airport.
CoachGoldie: I revise my earlier statement. Your intentional dodging of questions is definitely the most annoying thing about you.
RugbyFletch: He said some shit. I said some shit. We might punch each other and hug later.
CoachGoldie: If you want to talk about it, I can introduce you to some seasoned ladies who give excellent relationship advice.
RugbyFletch: Did they get enough milk and eggs and bread to survive three days without getting to the store?
CoachGoldie: Pfffftttt. They cleared out the local cupcake shop and the liquor store.
RugbyFletch: I just laughed out loud and scared my dog.
CoachGoldie: If you laughed more often, it wouldn’t be so traumatic for her.
RugbyFletch: Guess you’re hanging with them then?
CoachGoldie: They’re pregaming for a slew of new obituaries they’ll need to write. This kind of weather is hard on their ex-boyfriends.
RugbyFletch: So that’s a yes.
CoachGoldie: That’s definitely a yes. If you don’t want to be snowed in solo, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you joined us.
RugbyFletch: Huh.
CoachGoldie: They’re going to need a new young person to guide when I’m gone. You seem like an excellent candidate.
RugbyFletch: *silence*