“Who had so much fun this half?” I say loudly to my team, shifting around the circle to keep a better eye on the grown-ups while distracting the kids from watching.
And also while ignoring the pain radiating in my hip again.
Freaking weather.
And I have to finish packing my books and drive all of the boxes to my storage unit when I’m done coaching today.
Dammit.
Hallie’s hand shoots up.
So do most of the rest of the players’ hands.
“I had fun!” Hallie shrieks.
“I pway goawie!” Archie flexes his arm. “I pway so good!”
But not Campbell. He stares at me forlornly, “I missed a ball.”
“Grown-up soccer players miss the ball sometimes too,” I tell him. “What counts is how much fun you’re having out there.”
He eyes me like he’s forty instead of four, and my heart cracks a little.
“I like your shirt,” Sienna says to him.
“I wanna blow bubbles,” Archie announces.
“Coach Goldie, you tie my shoes?” Wilma Jane asks.
I pat the ground, beckoning her closer so I can tie her shoe while I look at all of the kids. “Are you all up for your very important jobs this next half?”
“I have to win,” Campbell says.
My heart fully cracks in two.
I know this kid.
I have been this kid.
Silas still is. I think Fletcher might be too.
And there’s nothing that I can say as his coach that will erase what he’ll hear at home.
So I say the best thing I can think of. “Do you know what it means to win?” I ask the whole team.
Some of them shake their heads. Some nod. Some stare at me like I asked why the sun rises from the south in the sea-green sky every morning.
“Winning isn’t about the score. It’s about supporting your teammates and trying your best and having fun. If you play by the rules and you cheer for your teammates and give ityour all and you have fun in every part of that, you’re winning.”
“Aunt Gow-die, I don’t know da wules,” Hallie says.
“That’s what I’m here for.” I sneak a glance at Fletcher and Silas, who are both subtly shifting their stances and continuing to push Campbell’s dad farther back down the field and out of earshot while Campbell’s mom huddles closer to the rest of the moms. They’re divorced and they’ve been trying family counseling. And I hope for Campbell’s sake that it works. “You all know that when I tell you that you need to remember a rule, you didn’t do anything wrong in forgetting it because you’re still learning and it’s okay to make mistakes, right?”
That gets more head bobs.
We’ve been over that lesson since week one, and for some of the kids on my team, this is their third or fourth month-long session now.
“One more drink of water for all of you,” I tell them. “It’s about time to get back on the field. Who’s ready for fun?”
