“We won’t say a word unless you give us the signal.”
“Or unless we mistake thebe quietsignal for theplease tell him exactly what I’m thinkingsignal. We should definitely go over signals.”
“I’ll bring a muzzle for Sabrina.”
“I’ll let Laney put it on me and she’ll only take it off if you give her the signal.”
“The right signal. The one we’ve agreed on beforehand.”
I laugh, but it’s half panic.
Laney leans forward and hugs me from behind, even though that has to be hella awkward on her baby bump. “We won’t let them put Bash in the spotlight.”
Sabrina leans in too. “This might be how Grey’s dream of moving to an island to hide away from people finally comes true. Except we’ll all be there together. I’ll tell him we need an island big enough for at least twelve. And a kombucha brewery, because I’m pretty sure Zen won’t leave here without that now that they’ve found where they fit.”
I force a laugh.
My friends squeeze me tighter.
“Do you know the very worst part?” I whisper, afraid to finally say it out loud.
“Tell us,” Laney says.
“He was so easy to be friends with until he was gone.”
“Oh, Em, that’s the worst,” Sabrina says.
My eyes get hot. “I don’t know how to trust it if I start to think he’s my friend again.”
Laney squeezes tighter. “No matter what, we’ll be here.”
“For whatever you need,” Sabrina agrees.
I know what I need.
But there’s zero chance now that I’ll get it.
“I wish I hadn’t told him,” I confess, even though the words taste like dirt.
“You wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself if you hadn’t,” Laney says.
She’s right.
Of course she’s right.
“Em?” Sabrina says softly. “You know you’ve got this, right?”
I start to shake my head, but then I catch sight of a clunky beaded necklace hanging from her rearview mirror.
A gift from Bash and me after art time a few months ago.
My perfect little boy.
Who needs me to be Warrior Mommy right now.
“Yeah,” I hear myself say. “I do.I’ve got this.”
15
