This man was born to be on the big screen.
“I doubled down on insisting kids before career was the right move when I should’ve told her the truth,” he says quietly.
Hard to miss the pain and regret in his voice. I wonder if he’s told anyone this yet.
I squirt more aloe in my hands and tackle his shoulders again. “Go on.”
He slides one brown eye in my direction, then lets his lids close. “Before we got married, we talked about expanding beyond Razzle Dazzle. Doing bigger projects. Heavier subjects.More—moreacting. Bigger. Stronger. Stuff that would get critical acclaim in a way Razzle Dazzle films just don’t.”
I make a soft noise to let him know I’m listening. I know he’s won awards—like an Oscar, maybe?—but I think it was when he was a child actor. Nothing recent.
He sucks in a deep breath that makes his back move under my hands. “The first couple months we were married, we were both hip-deep in projects. Me for Razzle Dazzle. Her too, for one. But she also had one for an indie company without a lot of expectations. No one was talking about film festivals or awards or anything. For her, it was a pure passion project. A foot in the door for branching out. When she finished that up and came home talking about another new script she’d read, one that she wanted us to tackle together thatwasnext-level, I—I got cold feet.”
“About working with her?”
“No. About the project. It was big. It was bold. It was—it was something that needed an actor with the chops to pull it off. And I’m the guy who doesn’t even have a film agent because all I’ve ever done is movies for my family.”
I still. “That’s—”
“Unheard of?” he supplies dryly.
“Absolutely fucking ridiculous.”
Here’s the thing.
I sugarcoateverything. It’s a superpower and a curse.
And it’s why I’m here. It’s why I was able to lie to myself about Chandler being the love of my life for so long. It’s why I let him gaslight me into believing no one else would want me. It’s why my friends kept secrets from me.
To protect me from having my sugarcoated world view popped.
And I need tostop.
So I’m trying. Right here, with my favorite movie star on the entire planet.
Jonas shifts to his side and pushes up to face me. “I get the feeling you don’t think me not having an agent is ridiculous for the same reason I think it’s ridiculous.”
Hedoesn’t think he has the chopsfor a project.
He’safraid.
“You’re hiding behind your family,” I say.
His lips part. He holds eye contact briefly, then looks away.
“You’reJonas Fucking Rutherford. You were practically born on a movie set. You have all the resources to get the best teachers and coaches in the world if you’re tackling somethingbigger. What can you honestly be afraid of?”
His Adam’s apple bobs, and he looks me square in the eye again. “Until the past few months, I’ve never failed at anything.”
I don’t know what my face is doing, but whatever it is, it’s making his face do something new too.
He’sembarrassed.
“Did you tell her you were afraid?” I ask.
“No.”
“Why not?”
